[4767] in Depressing_Thoughts
Re: Passover seders...
kevles@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (kevles@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Tue Apr 4 13:18:44 1995
This is a tough one to deal with. There are, however, several things
you can try. How well they succeed will depend upon how well you're
intereacting with your families on the topic of religionin general and
seder in particular.
If you've got the space, offer to hold seder at your own home. If not,
offer to bring some of the essentials (food, plaates, whatever.) If you
bring the food in advance and store it in you rparents' fridge, you can
ensure that it's kosher for passover, cooked on a weekday, and not
carried on the sabbath. (Just wrap it up well so it stays more-or-less
kosher.)
Decide for yourselves whether the peace of the family is more important
than other rules. My personal opinion is that it is more important than
anything texcept the commandments themselves. But that's just me.
Sit down with your folks several months before or after passover and
talk over the issue. Ask them for THIER suggestions. Make a point of
not making them feel as though YOU think they're "bad" or "unclean" --
you just have a different way of doing things, and you'd like to find
out what middle ground you can achieve IN GENERAL. Surely passover
isn't the only time when problems occur?
Th issue of moral differencedsbetween parents and offspring isn't unique
to religious observance. Let us know what you manage to work out, and
how you do it. It may prove instructive to others of us who have
differences with our parents.
And have a good holiday, regardless. Remember that the primary mitzvah
is to retell the story for new generations (right?)
--Beth (who is having seder with her sibling-in-laws, who keep a
Moroccan-kosher home. NOT my tradition, but very interesting!)
