[24051] in APO-L
Re: [APO-L] Intrachapter dating
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Rich Quodomine)
Mon Dec 8 23:13:21 2003
Date: Mon, 8 Dec 2003 23:13:07 -0500
Reply-To: Rich Quodomine <aposatan@hotmail.com>
From: Rich Quodomine <aposatan@hotmail.com>
To: APO-L@LISTSERV.IUPUI.EDU
Also at Epsilon Sigma, we've had quite a few, as Buddha mentioned.
In my experience, from membership presentations all over the place,here's
the best rules of thumb:
*NOTE: Rules of Thumb are not substitutions for common sense and/or using
your brain.
1. Don't ban intrachapter dating. It merely encourages it.
2. Hands (and other body parts) off pledges. It rarely leads to anything
long term, and often causes difficulties within chapter.
3. Try not to make intrachapter dating a spectacle. Rumour trees will always
exist. You cannot change that, but don't make yoruselves (or the couple)
fodder for more rumours.
4. Breakups/cheating/scandals etc. cause bad feelings and divide the
chapter. Such things, if they do occur, are best handled away from chapter.
5. I consider it unwise to ahve chapter officers dating (save in very small
chapters), especially if both have sign-off authority for chapter funds.
This can lead to a chance at missing funds and resulting issues.
Finally, as a person who dated (albeit briefly) in chapter, it's not a great
idea unles teh couple is mature enough to handle additional scrutiny. Since
most of us in college (or beyond it, for that matter) have enough problems
in relationships without added scrutiny, it's best to low-key anything that
does occur, or avoid it alltogether.
-- RIch
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