[773] in Humor
HUMOR: Pearls of Wisdom
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Fri Mar 17 15:37:20 1995
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 17 Mar 1995 15:34:03 EST
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Date: Thu, 16 Mar 1995 21:05:24 +0000 (GMT)
From: Espacionaute Spiff domine! <MATOSSIAN@aries.colorado.edu>
From: bostic@CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: spaf@cs.purdue.edu (Gene "Chief Yuckster" Spafford)
Forwarded-by: Tiffany_Taylor@mm.cobb.ziff.com
Homespun sayings from the Lone Star state, excerpted from "Texas Monthly."
Makes you want to put on your ten-gallon hat and go rope some armadillos.
--Tiffany
_______________________________________
He's all hat and no cattle.
If that ain't a fact, God's a possum.
So dry the catfish are carrying canteens.
He's so busy you'd think he was twins.
He'll squeeze a nickel till the buffalo screams.
So dry the trees are bribing the dogs.
Cold as a cast-iron commode.
She's two sandwiches short of a picnic.
So ugly she has to sneak up on a glass of water.
Confused as a goat on AstroTurf.
Handy as hip pockets on a hog.
So ugly his mama takes him everywhere she goes so she
doesn't have to kiss him goodbye.
Looks like he sorts bobcats for a living.
So buck-toothed she could eat corn through a picket fence.
If brains were leather, he couldn't saddle a flea.
