[546] in Humor
HUMOR (possible repeat): 1994 Ig-Nobel Prizes
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Tue Nov 15 15:56:02 1994
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Tue, 15 Nov 1994 15:45:48 EST
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Date: Mon, 14 Nov 94 12:44:18 PST
From: Connie_Kleinjans@Novell.COM (Connie Kleinjans)
From: Rochelle Grober <rocky@cadence.com>
From: Steve D White <stevew@orion.oriontel.com>
From: Ken Musgrave <musgrave@seas.gwu.edu>
>From kdp@pedrotti.risc.rockwell.com Thu Oct 20 14:25 EDT 1994
====================================
'94 Ig Nobel Prizes Presented at MIT
====================================
Winners are applauded by 4 Nobel Laureates, 1200 Hecklers,
and a Convicted Felon
(CAMBRIDGE, MA, Oct. 6, 1994) The winners of this year's Ig
Nobel Prizes were honored, in a fashion, by four Nobel Laureates,
1200 hecklers, the Norwegian Consul, and a convicted felon at
MIT's at a tumultuous ceremony at MIT. The Prizes honor
individuals whose achievements "cannot or should not be
reproduced." The ceremony is sponsored by "The Annals of
Improbable Research" (which has been described as "The MAD
Magazine of science") and The MIT Museum.
This was the fourth annual ceremony. Past winners include Los
Angeles Police Chief Daryl Gates, who won the 1992 Ig Nobel Peace
Prize for "his uniquely compelling methods of bringing people
together."
The festivities included speeches by three of the new winners --
Dr. Brian Sweeney (Biology), Dr. Robert Lopez (Entomology) and,
via tape recording, Dr. Richard Dart (Medicine). Sweeney and Lopez
had their Prizes -- cheap gold-painted wax half-brains --
personally handed to them by the Nobel Laureates.
The Nobel Laureates -- Richard Roberts ( Physiology or Medicine,
1993), Dudley Herschbach (Chemistry, 1986), William Lipscomb
(Chemistry, 1976), and Sheldon Glashow (Physics, 1979) -- also
each presented a 30-second "Heisenberg Certainty Lecture." Those
laureates who exceeded the time limit were thrown off the stage by
a referee. The Laureates also joined with a five-woman dnace
group to perform a brief ballet number, "The Interpretive Dance of
the Electrons," with music from Tchaikovsky's "Nutcracker Suite."
Five additional Nobel Laureates participated in the Ceremony with
congratulatory tapes and slides.
Following is a list of the new Ig Nobellians:
==============================
The 1994 Ig Nobel Prizewinners
==============================
BIOLOGY W. Brian Sweeney, Brian Krafte-Jacobs, Jeffrey W.
Britton, and Wayne Hansen, for their breakthrough study, "The
Constipated Serviceman: Prevalence Among Deployed US Troops," and
especially for their numerical analysis of bowel movement
frequency. [The study was published in "Military Medicine," vol.
158, August, 1993, pages 346-348.]
PEACE John Hagelin of Maharishi University and The Institute of
Science, Technology and Public Policy, promulgator of peaceful
thoughts, for his experimental conclusion that 4,000 trained
meditators caused an 18 percent decrease in violent crime in
Washington, D.C. [Details were published in "Interim Report:
Results fo the National Demonstration Project To Reduce Violent
Crime and Improve Governmental Effectiveness In Washington, D.C.,
June 7 to July 30, 1993," Institute of Science, Technology and
Public Policy, Fairfield, Iowa.]
MEDICINE This prize is awarded in two parts.
First, to Patient X, formerly of the US Marine Corps, valiant
victim of a venomous bite from his pet rattlesnake, for his
determined use of electroshock therapy -- at his own insistence,
automobile sparkplug wires were attached to his lip, and the car
engine revved to 3000 rpm for five minutes.
Second, to Dr. Richard C. Dart of the Rocky Mountain Poison Center
and Dr. Richard A. Gustafson of The University of Arizona Health
Sciences Center, for their well-grounded medical report: "Failure
of Electric Shock Treatment for Rattlesnake Envenomation." [The
report was published in "Annals of Emergency Medicine," vol. 20,
no. 6, June 1991, pp. 659-661.]
ENTOMOLOGY Robert A. Lopez of Westport, NY, valiant veterinarian
and friend of all creatures great and small, for his series of
experiments in obtaining ear mites from cats, inserting them into
his own ear, and carefully observing and analyzing the results.
[Dr. Lopez's report was published in "The Journal of the American
Veterinary Society," vol. 203, no. 5, Sept. 1, 1993, pp. 606-607.]
PSYCHOLOGY Lee Kuan Yew, former Prime Minister of Singapore,
practitioner of the psychology of negative reinforcement, for his
thirty-year study of the effects of punishing three million
citizens of Singapore whenever they spat, chewed gum, or fed
pigeons.
PHYSICS The Japanese Meterological Agency, for its seven-year
study of whether earthquakes are caused by catfish wiggling their
tails.
LITERATURE L. Ron Hubbard, ardent author of science fiction and
founding father of Scientology, for his crackling Good Book,
"Dianetics," which is highly profitable to mankind or to a portion
thereof.
CHEMISTRY Texas State Senator Bob Glasgow, wise writer of logical
legislation, for sponsoring the 1989 drug control law which make
it illegal to purchase beakers, flasks, test tubes, or other
laboratory glassware without a permit.
ECONOMICS Jan Pablo Davila of Chile, tireless trader of financial
futures and former employee of the state-owned Codelco Company,
for instructing his computer to "buy" when he meant "sell," and
subsequently attempting to recoup his losses by making
increasingly unprofitable trades that ultimately lost .5 percent
of Chile's gross national product. Davila's relentless
achievement inspired his countrymen to coin a new verb: "to
davilar," meaning, "to botch things up royally."
MATHEMATICIANS The Southern Baptist Church of Alabama,
mathematical measurers of morality, for their county-by-county
estimate of how many Alabama citizens will go to Hell if they
don't repent.
===========================
FOR MORE INFO
about the Ig Nobel Prizes and/or The Annals of Improbable Research:
Kathleen Thurston-Lighty, The MIT Museum
617-253-4422 (ktl@mit.edu)
Marc Abrahams, The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR),
published by The MIT Museum
617-253-8329 (marca@mit.edu)
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