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Mime-Version: 1.0 Message-Id: <p05100300b8484b2d4032@[10.0.0.2]> Date: Thu, 20 Dec 2001 21:13:34 -0500 To: humor@mit.edu From: "Andrew B. Greytak" <agreytak@MIT.EDU> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" ; format="flowed" >From: "Buckingham-1, Bruce" <Bruce.Buckingham-1@ksc.nasa.gov> >To: "'1 'ksc-news_release@kscnews.ksc.nasa.gov''" ><ksc-news_release@kscnews.ksc.nasa.gov> >Subject: SANTA CLAUS EXPECTED TO VISIT KSC TO INSTALL X-MAS ROBOTIC ARM >Date: Thu, 20 Dec 2001 16:19:21 -0500 > >NASA News >National Aeronautics and >Space Administration >John F. Kennedy Space Center >Kennedy Space Center, Florida 32899 >AC 321 867-2468 > >KSC Contact: Bill Johnson >321-867-2468 > >For Release: Dec. 20, 2001 > >KSC RELEASE NO. 139 - 01 > >SANTA CLAUS EXPECTED TO VISIT KSC TO INSTALL X-MAS ROBOTIC ARM > >KSC officials have learned that Santa Claus is planning a late-night >landing at the Shuttle Landing Facility (SLF) to install a new >robotic toy distribution aid on his sleigh. Although KSC employees >will be at home enjoying the holidays, the SLF will be left in full >operational mode to accommodate the world-renowned sleigh commander, >who has been granted special security clearance. > >In response to a touch of arthritis in his joints, Santa spent >months creating an EXtra-Manual Aid System (X-MAS). While the >reindeer propulsion team is grazing in the lush grass adjacent to >the runway, Santa will install X-MAS on the sleigh's midsection, >directly between the cockpit and the cargo area. X-MAS will allow >Santa to select the most appropriate toy at each child's home >without having to reach backward, preventing arthritis flare-ups >brought on by overextending his elbows in the chill night air. > >X-MAS was inspired by the Canadian-built Space Station Remote >Manipulator System (SSRMS), installed on the International Space >Station in April 2001 during Mission STS-100. A longer, stronger and >more flexible version of the Shuttle's robotic arm, the SSRMS is 56 >feet long when fully extended and has seven motorized joints. It is >self-relocatable with a special latching end effector that can be >attached to complementary ports located throughout the Station's >exterior surfaces. > >"If all goes according to plan, Santa will perform the Ground >Integrated Functional Test (GIFT) immediately after installation of >the X-MAS just to ensure that it works," said Tip Talone, director >of the ISS/Payload Processing Directorate. "Our folks here gave >Santa some pointers on testing methods. This means the families in >the local area could be the first to receive their Christmas gifts >with the new system." > >Cloaked in darkness and miles away from the prying eyes of children, >the SLF is an ideal North American rest stop for Santa and his team >of reindeer. First opened for flights in 1976, it was specially >designed for returning Space Shuttle orbiters. With its >15,000-foot-long and 300-foot-wide paved runway, the SLF is longer >and wider than runways found in most commercial airports. Typically, >16 powerful xenon lights, each producing up to 1 billion >candlepower, light the SLF during nighttime landing operations. >However, so that Santa can retain his anonymity, the lights are >always left off on Christmas Eve. > >"It doesn't cost the government or taxpayers a penny," said a >security supervisor who wished to remain anonymous. "We don't know >for sure that he stops here every year. But there's too much ice in >the North Pole for him to properly install the X-MAS. And since he >did contact our security office to request clearance to land this >Christmas Eve, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if he stops here." > >-- end -- > > -- --------------------------------------------------------------------- Andrew Bardeen Greytak, MIT '00 <agreytak@alum.mit.edu> 169 Rindge Ave Cambridge, Massachusetts
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