[3542] in Humor
For all employers out there...
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Johnny T. Yang)
Wed Oct 3 21:31:02 2001
Message-Id: <5.0.2.1.2.20011003212932.022aad90@hesiod>
Date: Wed, 03 Oct 2001 21:29:46 -0400
To: humor@mit.edu
From: "Johnny T. Yang" <jtyang@MIT.EDU>
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LETTERS OF RECOMMENDATIONS FOR EMPLOYEES
Here are a few suggested phrases:
For the chronically absent:
"A man like him is hard to find."
"It seemed his career was just taking off."
For the office drunk:
"I feel his real talent is wasted here."
"We generally found him loaded with work to do."
For an employee with no ambition:
"He could not care less about the number of hours he
had to put in."
"You would indeed be fortunate to get this person to
work for you."
"He consistently achieves the low standards he sets for
himself."
For an employee who is so unproductive that the job is
better left unfilled:
"I can assure you that no person would be better for
the job."
For an employee who is not worth further consideration
as a job candidate:
"I would urge you to waste no time in making this
candidate an offer of employment."
"All in all, I cannot say enough good things about this
candidate or recommend him too highly."
For a stupid employee:
"There is nothing you can teach a man like him."
"I most enthusiastically recommend this candidate with
no qualifications, whatsoever."
For a dishonest employee:
"His true ability was deceiving."
"He's an unbelievable worker."
