[3438] in Humor
HUMOR: Cold in New England
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Charles E Leiserson Jr)
Wed Apr 11 15:12:13 2001
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Date: Wed, 11 Apr 2001 15:11:56 -0400
From: Charles E Leiserson Jr <locutus@MIT.EDU>
Table provides human activity vs temperate zone:
TEMPERATURE SCALE
60 F
Floridians wear coats, gloves and woolly hats.
New Englanders sunbathe.
50 F
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
New Englanders plant gardens.
40 F
Italian cars won't start.
New Englanders drive with the windows down.
32 F
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Winnisquam cools off.
20 F
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
New Englanders have the last cookout before it
gets cold.
15 F
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
New Englanders throw on a "sweatah."
0 F
Californians fly away to Mexico.
New Englanders take in the flag.
-20 F
People in Miami cease to exist.
New Englanders get out winter coats.
-40 F
Hollywood disintegrates.
New England Girl Scouts sell cookies door to
door.
-60 F
Penguins flee Antarctica.
New England Boy Scouts hold "Winter Survival"
classes.
-80 F
Mount St. Helen's freezes.
New Englanders rent videos.
-100 F
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
New Englanders are frustrated because they
can't thaw the keg.
-297 F
Microbial life survives on dairy products.
Cows in Rhode Island complain of farmers with
cold hands.
-460 F
Atomic motion stops.
New Englanders ask: "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
-500 F
Hell freezes over.
The Red Sox win the World Series.
Be seeing you,
- Ricky
