[3417] in Humor
New Hampshire
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Peter H. Brenton)
Mon Mar 12 09:08:15 2001
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Date: Mon, 12 Mar 2001 09:05:55 -0500
To: humor@mit.edu
From: "Peter H. Brenton" <pbrenton@MIT.EDU>
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the 7th day.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards
through
the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call
it
Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern
Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern
Europe
is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over
there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent
of black people,"
God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely
hot and arid while one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel impressed by God's work, then pointed to a small land mass
and
asked, "What's that one?"
"New Hampshire, the most glorious place on Earth. There's beautiful lakes,
rivers, streams and an exquisite grasslands. The people from New Hampshire
are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be
found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hardworking and
high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats
and
carriers of peace. They will be admired by all who come across them."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about
balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!"
God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the loud mouth, whiny-assed,
arrogant piss-ants I'm putting next to them in Massachusetts."
Peter H. Brenton
MIT's Plasma Science and Fusion Center
(617) 253-3185
pbrenton@mit.edu
