[3376] in Humor
HUMOR: A Man's Point of View
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Psycho-Somatic, Addict Insane)
Thu Dec 7 21:56:34 2000
Date: Thu, 07 Dec 2000 21:57:43 -0500
To: humor@mit.edu
From: "Psycho-Somatic, Addict Insane" <descentr@MIT.EDU>
some ive seen before, some i have not:
>
>Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring,
>wedding ring, and suffering.
>___________________________________
>
>The last fight was my fault.
>My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
>I said, "Dust!"
>_____________________
>
>In the beginning, God created earth and rested.
>Then God created man and rested.
>Then God created woman.
>Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
>____________________________________
>
>Why do men die before their wives?
>'Cause they want to.
>___________________________________________
>
>What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
>About 5 drinks.
>________________________________
>
>A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping
>on Rodeo Drive and said "I haven't eaten anything in
>four days."
>She looked at him and said, "I wish I had your willpower."
>_______________________________________
>
>Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
>Two mothers-in-law.
>______________________________
>
>Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some
>parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
>Dad: That happens in every country, son.
>___________________________________
>
>A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted".
>Next day he received a hundred letters. They all
>said the same thing: "You can have mine."
>____________________________________
>
>The most effective way to remember your wife's
>birthday is to forget it once.
>______________________________________
>
>First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
>Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
>______________________________________
>
>How do most men define marriage?
>An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
>__________________________________
>
>Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
>through life thinking they had no faults at all.
>_____________________________________
>
>If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided
>attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
>___________________________________
>
>Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what
>real happiness was until I got married; and then it
>it was too late."
>______________________________________________
>
>A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does
>it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't
>know son, I'm still paying."
______________________________________
> >
>I married Miss Right.
>I just didn't know her first name was Always.
>_________________________________________________
>
>I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months.
>I don't
>like to interrupt her.
>________________________________________________
