[3374] in Humor
slightly dated, now, but still...
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Ashish Mishra)
Tue Nov 28 01:38:52 2000
Date: Tue, 28 Nov 2000 01:40:29 -0500
To: humor@mit.edu
From: Ashish Mishra <ashm@MIT.EDU>
Subject: Mets Not Conceding NEW YORK (AP)
The New York Mets announced today that they are going to court to get an
additional inning added to the end of Game 5 of the World Series. The
batting, pitching, and bench coaches for the Mets held a press conference
earlier today. They were joined by members of the Major League Players Union.
"We meant to hit those pitches from the Yankee pitchers," said the Mets
batting coach. "We were confused by the irregularities of the pitches we
received and believe we have been denied our right to hit." One claim
specifically noted that a small percentage of the Mets batters had intended
to swing at fast balls, but actually swung at curve balls. It was clear
that these batters never intended to swing at curve balls, though a much
higher percentage were not confused by the pitches.
Reporters at the press conference pointed out that the Mets had extensively
reviewed film of the Yankees pitchers prior to the World Series and had in
fact faced the Yankees in inter-league play earlier in the year. "The fact
remains that some of the pitches confused us and denied us of our right to
hit," said the Mets batting coach. "The World Series is not over yet and
the Yankees are celebrating prematurely."
Major League Baseball has reviewed the telecast of all the World Series
games and recounted the balls and strikes called by the umpires of each
game. "While some of the strikes called against the Mets were, in fact,
balls, there were not enough of them to change the outcome of the World
series," the commissioner said. Another portion of the Mets legal claim
stated that, based on on-base percentage, the Mets had actually won the
World Series, regardless of the final scores of the games.
"It's clear that we were slightly on-base more often than the Yankees,"
said a Mets spokesman. "The World Series crown is rightly ours." The
manager of the Mets has remained in relative seclusion, engaging in some
light jogging for exercise. He has stated that he believes "we need to let
the process run its course without a rush to judgment."
