[3269] in Humor
Idiot Sightings
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Brian T Sniffen)
Sun Aug 6 12:03:19 2000
To: humor@MIT.EDU
From: Brian T Sniffen <brians@MIT.EDU>
Date: 06 Aug 2000 12:02:48 -0400
IDIOTS IN SERVICE...
This week, ALL our phones went dead, and I had
to call the phone repair people.
They promised to be out between 8:00 AM and
7:00 PM. When I asked if they could give me
a smaller time window, he asked,
"would you like us to call before we come?"
He also requested that we report future outages
by e-mail. (?????Does your e-mail work without a
telephone line???)
IDIOTS AT WORK...
I was signing the receipt for my credit card
purchase when the clerk noticed that I had
never signed my name on the back of the credit
card.
She informed me that she could not complete
the transaction unless the card was signed.
When I asked why, she explained that it was
necessary to compare the signature on the
credit card with the signature I just signed
on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in
front of her. She carefully compared that
signature to the one I signed on the receipt.
As luck would have it, they matched.
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD...
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a
new neighbor call the local township
administrative office to request the removal of
the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: Too many deer were being hit by cars
and he no longer wanted them to cross there.
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE...
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered
a taco. She asked the individual behind the
counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was
sorry, but they only had iceberg.
IDIOT SIGHTINGS...
Sighting #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate,
when the airport employee asked, "Has anyone
put anything in your baggage without
your knowledge?"
I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how
would I know?" He smiled and nodded knowingly,
"That's why we ask."
Idiot Sighting #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is
safe to cross the street. I was crossing with
an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine,
when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals to blind people
when the light is red. She responded, appalled,
"What on earth are blind people doing driving?"
Idiot Sighting #3:
At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker
who is leaving the company due to "downsizing,"
our manager spoke up and said, "this is fun.
We should have lunch like this more often."
Not another word was spoken. We just looked
at each other like deer staring into the
headlights of an approaching truck.
Idiot Sighting #4:
I worked with an Individual who plugged her
power strip back into itself and for the life
of her could not understand why her system
would not turn on.
Idiot Sighting #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile
dealership to pick up our car, we were told
that the keys had been accidentally locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a
mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
driver's side door. As I watched from the
passenger's side, I instinctively tried the
door handle and discovered it was open.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's
open!"
"I know," answered the young man.
"I already got that side."
There, now, don't you feel better?
