[3039] in Humor
HUMOR: National Park Stories
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Sharalee M. Field)
Sun Dec 19 23:20:57 1999
Date: Sun, 19 Dec 1999 23:18:53 -0500
To: humor@MIT.EDU, mowu@MIT.EDU, "MEGallagh@aol.com" <MEGallagh@aol.com>,
kris@speechcode.com, jbran18610@aol.com, dunbar@MIT.EDU, dahv@MIT.EDU,
mtsai@bqa.com, immer@MIT.EDU, jack.gingras@ae.ge.com,
tlawlor@palmerdodge.com, paul.n.leblanc@ae.ge.com,
bmendell@mediaone.net, nkahn@gph.com, GDeVoe@rimco.com,
celia_kent@harvard.edu,
Maryellen Fitzgibbon <mfitzgib@fas.harvard.edu>,
cjwells@fas.harvard.edu,
Cheryl Guarino Buccelli <c_buccelli@harvard.edu>,
leite@fas.harvard.edu, Courtney Nichols <crnichol@fas.harvard.edu>,
wthtx@aol.com
From: "Sharalee M. Field" <sharalee_field@harvard.edu>
>From: The DAILY DOSE! <dosemaster@thedailydose.com>
>Subject: DAILY DOSE! 12/18/99
>Date: Sat, 18 Dec 1999 18:54:21 +0200
>
>***** The DAILY DOSE! (A Clean Joke Sent Every Day!) *****
>
>Any technical problem can be overcome given enough time and money.
>Corollary - You are never given enough time or money.
> -- Lerman's Law of Technology
>
>Schematically,
>
>Yasha Harari
>dosemaster@thedailydose.com
>http://www.thedailydose.com
>************************************************************
>
>ALL TIME DUMBEST QUESTIONS ASKED BY BANFF PARK TOURISTS
>
>Yes, they're ALL TRUE as heard at the information kiosks manned by Parks
Canada
>staff!
>
>1. How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk Crossing" signs?
>2. At what elevation does an elk become a moose?
>3. Tourist: "How do you pronounce 'Elk'?"
> Park Information Staff: " 'Elk' "
> Tourist: "Oh".
>4. Are the bears with collars tame?
>5. Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?
>6. Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or should I
>store it in my tent?
>7. Where can I find Alpine Flamingos?
>8. I saw an animal on the way to Banff today - could you tell me what it was?
>9. Are there birds in Canada?
>10. Did I miss the turnoff for Canada?
>11. Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?
>12. Do you have a map of the State of Jasper?
>13. Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that Saskatchewan?
>14. If I go to B.C., do I have to go through Ontario?
>15. Which is the way to the Columbia Ricefields?
>16. How far is Banff from Canada?
>17. What's the best way to see Canada in a day?
>18. Do they search you at the B.C. border?
>19. When we enter B.C. do we have to convert our money to British pounds?
>20. Where can I buy a racoon hat? ALL Canadians own one, don't they?
>21. Are there phones in Banff?
>22. So it's eight kilometres away... is that in miles?
>23. We're on the decibel system you know.
>24. Where can I get my husband really, REALLY, lost??
>25. Is that two kilometres by foot or by car?
>26. Don't you Canadians know anything?
>27. Where do you put the animals at night?
>28. Tourist: "How do you get your lakes so blue?"
> Park staff: "We take the water out in the winter and paint the bottom".
> Tourist: "Oh!"
>
>
>Source: Steve Meredith
>************************************************************
>** A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR!!! **
>
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---------------------------------------------------------------
Sharalee M. Field, Planning Analyst
Faculty of Arts and Sciences Planning Office
Harvard University
Ph: 617.495.8257 Fax: 617.495.7881
