[3034] in Humor
Politically Correct reference to Women/Men
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Joey Gottinger)
Fri Dec 10 10:09:18 1999
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 10 Dec 1999 10:08:53 -0500
From: Joey Gottinger <snoopy1@MIT.EDU>
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY
CORRECT
She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a
BREASTED AMERICAN.
She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE
DEPENDENT.
She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE
COMPATIBLE.
She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is
METALLICALLY
OVERBURDENED.
She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE
OF HER BEST
QUALITIES.
She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC
UNDERACHIEVER.
She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is
VOCALLY
APPRECIATIVE.
She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY
PROMINENT.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She
commits
FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has
reached
COSMETIC
SATURATION.
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is
GRAVITY
RESISTANT.
HOW TO TALK ABOUT MEN AND STILL BE POLITICALLY
CORRECT
He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed
a LIQUID GRAIN
STORAGE
FACILITY.
He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY
CAUCASIAN.
He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He
investigates ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS.
He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE
REGRESSION.
He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers
GENERATIONALLY
DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS.
He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE
EMPATHY.
He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is
MONOGAMOUSLY
CHALLENGED.
>>_____________
______________________________________________________________________
Joseph R Gottinger Ph: (617)253-0962
Massachusetts Institute of Technology Fax:(617)258-8816
Room 7-104, 77 Mass Ave.
Cambridge, MA 02139
______________________________________________________________________
