[2958] in Humor
Kosher Computers
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Jonathan Reed)
Tue Sep 28 19:23:40 1999
Date: Tue, 28 Sep 1999 18:56:00 -0400
To: humor@MIT.EDU
From: Jonathan Reed <jdreed@MIT.EDU>
The Rabbi came over yesterday and we had a bris for my computer
(ritual circumcision), taking
a little piece off the tail of the mouse. If you or a friend are
considering a kosher computer, you
should know that there were some other changes, such as:
I had to have two hard drives, one for fleyshedik business
software and one for milchedik games.
Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, my PC now
gets "Ferklempt."
The Chanukah screen savers include "Flying Dreidels". My PC also
shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.
After my computer dies, I have to dispose of it within 24 hours.
My "Start" button has been replaced with a "Let's go! I'm not
getting any younger!" button.
When disconnecting external devices from the back of my PC, I am
instructed to "Remove the cable from the PC's tuchus".
The multimedia player has been renamed to "Nu, so play my music
already!"
Internet Explorer has a spinning "Star of David" in the upper
right corner.
I hear "Hava Nagila" during startup.
Microsoft Office now includes "A little byte of this, and a little
byte of that."
When running "scandisk," , I am prompted with a "You want I should
fix this?" message.
When my PC is working too hard, I occasionally hear a loud "Oy
Gevalt!"
I saw a "monitor cleaning solution" from Manischewitz that
advertises that it gets rid of the "schmutz und drek" on your monitor.
After 20 minutes of no activity, my PC goes "Schloffen."
Computer viruses can now be cured with some matzo ball chicken soup.
The Y2K problem has been replaced by "Year 5760-5761" issues.
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Jonathan Reed '01 EC - Wood 508
EC DarkroomComm
Vice President, MIT SRC
PGP5 key ID: 401112A6
jdreed@mit.edu http://jon.mit.edu/
jdreed@genome.wi.mit.edu
3 Ames St Box 143 (617) 225-6538
Cambridge, MA 02142
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