[2678] in Humor
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daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Roxanne M Cartwright)
Sun Feb 21 14:54:35 1999
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Sun, 21 Feb 1999 14:48:08 EST
From: Roxanne M Cartwright <roxie@MIT.EDU>
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To: sigmas-humor@MIT.EDU
Subject: SeX eDuCaTiOn
Date: Sun, 21 Feb 1999 14:27:41 EST
From: Elizabeth A Ellingson <liz611@MIT.EDU>
>> > > *****SeX eDuCaTiOn***
>> > >
>> > > Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age rather
>> > > curious.He had been hearing quite a bit about 'courting' from the
>> > > older
>> > > boys,
>> > > and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his
>> > > question
>> > > to his mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining
>> > > things to
>> > > Johnny,she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch
>> > > his
>> > > older
>> > > sister and her boyfriend. This he did. The following morning, Johnny
>> > > described EVERYTHING to his mother.
>> > >
>> > > " 'Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he
>> > > turned off
>> > > most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I
>> > > figured 'Sis
>> > > must be getting sick, because her face started looking funny. He must
>> > > have
>> > > thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her
>> > > heart,
>> > > just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the doctor
>> > > because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart. I guess he was
>> > > getting
>> > > sick too,because pretty soon both of them started panting and gettin
>> > > all
>> > > out
>> > > of breath.
>> > > His other hand must of been cold because he put it under her
>> > > skirt.
>> > > About
>> > > this time 'Sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and squirm around
>> > > and
>> > > slide down toward the end of the couch. This was when her fever
>> > > started. I
>> > > knew it was a fever, because Sis told him she felt really hot.
>> > > Finally,
>> > > I
>> > > found out what was making them so sick -- a big eel had gotten inside
>> > > his
>> > > pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and
>> > > stood there, about 10 inches long, honest, anyway he grabbed it in one
>> > > hand to keep it from getting away. When Sis saw it, she got really
>> > > scared
>> > > --her eyes got big, and her mouth fell open, and she started calling
>> > > out
>> > > to
>> > > God
>> > > and stuff like that. She said it was the biggest one she's ever
>> > > seen; I
>> > > should tell her about the ones down at the lake by our house! Anyway,
>> > > Sis got
>> > > brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off. All of a
>> > > sudden
>> > > she
>> > > grabbed it with both
>> > > hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket
>> > > and
>> > >
>> > > slipped it over the eel's head to keep it from biting again. Sis lay
>> > > back and
>> > > spread her legs so she could get a scissor-lock on it and he helped by
>> > > lying
>> > > on top of the eel.
>> > > The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and
>> > > squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they
>> > > wanted
>> > > to
>> > > kill the eel by squashing it between them. After a while they both
>> > > quit
>> > >
>> > > moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough,
>> > > they
>> > > killed the eel. I knew because it just hung there, limp, and some of
>> > > its
>> > > insides were hanging out. Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired
>> > > from the
>> > > battle, but they went back to courting anyway. He started hugging and
>> > > kissing
>> > > her again. By golly, the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up and
>> > > started
>> > > to fight again. I guess eels are like cats -- they have nine lives or
>> > > something. This time, Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting
>> > > on
>> > > it. After about a 35 minute struggle, they finally killed the eel.
>> > >
>> > > I knew it was dead, because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel its skin off
>> > > and
>> > > flush it down
>> > > the toilet.
>
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