[2679] in Humor
The history of the world - Part II [More kenny]
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Buddhika Kottahachchi)
Sun Feb 21 16:25:02 1999
Date: Sun, 21 Feb 1999 16:24:25 -0500
To: srilanka-execom@MIT.EDU, clique@mitvma.mit.edu, humor@MIT.EDU
From: Buddhika Kottahachchi <buddhika@MIT.EDU>
The history of the world =96 Part II
The Middle Ages. These were the ages in between the ages which came before
and the ones which came after. They were also called the dark ages. A
rather depressing name, but appropriate I think, as they had nothing to be
happy about. The Middle Ages were times filled with pettiness and paranoia
(and quite a few other "P" words). Nothing terribly interesting happened
during these times. It's just that some of these people (listed in no
chronological order) were very good at PR.
Louis the XIV was a rather confused Frenchman. For starters, he didn't like
his name. Being French, he preferred to be called "Louie the lover". The
people called him Louis the !@#$* so I suppose "the XIV" was a compromise.
He was an extravagant king and had a big ego. He also had several
mistresses. No wonder he could afford to say "L'=C9tat, c'est moi" (I am the
state) =96 he was married to, or had affairs with all the women in the
country =96 except for the ones he was married to. Because even in France =
=96
marriage kills it.
Lady Godiva was a rather progressive woman. She was very comfortable with
her body and claimed that it had nothing to do with the fact that she was
gorgeous. She had long blonde hair which almost reached down to her ankles
but she didn't understand what that had to do with anything. One day some
guys bet her (on her husband's life, to make it interesting) that she
wouldn't ride around town on a horse with no clothes on. She did it. Mainly
because she couldn't see the big deal about it. Actually as far as she
could remember, she had never seen a horse with clothes ON.
Richard the Lionheart was called that because he was so deformed that all
the people around him didn't want to comment on any other part of his body.
He suddenly got terribly motivated to go on a crusade to the Holy Land.
Going on a crusade is a little like going on a pilgrimage =96 just that on a
crusade you kill people. After a few years of crusading he realized that
the reason why he was running out of troops while the opposition didn't,
was that THEY LIVED THERE.
Meanwhile back in England, Robin Hood used to be a rich guy. Then he had a
nervous breakdown and decided to go off and live in a forest with a whole
bunch of gay men and one woman. But, many people still believe that he
faked the nervous breakdown so that he wouldn't have to go off and fight in
the crusades. Because like all people who fight for a cause, he firmly
believed in killing his own countrymen. But there is strong evidence to
support the theory that he was slightly mad as well. I mean why else would
he rob money from people and give it away?!
Marco Polo was an Italian guy who inherited the family business. He had his
finger on the pulse of the markets at that time and realized that the
future lay in trading with China which was an emerging market. The fact
that China is still seen as an emerging market 700 years later doesn't say
much about their ability to progress past that point though, but I digress.
He liked the place and decided to stay on. The king liked him and made him
governor over a large province. But after a while Marco got sick of the
place =96 he was bad at remembering faces and the fact that everyone looked
alike didn't help. So he decided to go back home to Venice.
Queen Elizabeth the first was the daughter of King Henry VIII. The fact
that he had a nasty habit of chopping off the heads of his wives didn't
help her cause and she remained single until she died. Nevertheless, she
was a great queen and bravely queened through quite a few attacks on the
country.
That boys and girls, was the middle part of History. Whatever anyone says I
don't think there were any more interesting people during this time. So I
hope you will join me next week when I bring you the concluding episode in
this three-part series on the history of the world. Next week =96 the rest.
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D
Buddhika Kottahachchi Tel :617.225.8130
410 Memorial Drive, E-mail :buddhika@mit.edu
Cambridge MA 02139 ICQ# :31143328
------------------------------------------------
"I think, therefore I am"
- Rene Descartes
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D
