[260] in Humor
HUMOR: well, if eggshells don't work...
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Wed May 11 19:50:24 1994
From: abennett@MIT.EDU
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Wed, 11 May 94 16:12:59 EDT
Date: Sun, 8 May 1994 22:13:48 -0600
From: Espacionaute Spiff domine! <matossian@aludra.colorado.edu>
...
Forwarded-by: ke94002@oxford.ac.uk (Daniel J Mitchell)
Barry T. Drake (bdrake@bengal.oxy.edu) wrote:
: MATTHEW NELSON DAILEY <mndailey@eos.ncsu.edu> wrote:
: >...let seep for a while, then put the top on the pot and hold it
: >in place while you swing the pot by its handle up and around a
: >couple times. The centrifuge effect forces all the grounds to
: >the bottom of the pot. Tastes great with any old coffee.
: A less energetic alternative is to add eggshells to settle the grounds.
: I don't know why this works; it's folklore. This is a good alternative
: if you have a missing (or weak) wire bail (look, ma, it's a coffee-a-pult!).
I find an even easier alternative is to slap on your walkman, hike down
to Starbucks, and order an iced triple latte. Sip it there, read the
local paper, and meet the man or woman of your dreams. Then sneak into
the local theatre for a classic movie, and it will have begun raining.
Run laughing through the rain with your newfound love, and duck into a
little family-owned Italian restaurant for some pasta and a bottle of
Chianti. Discover that you both lived on the same block when you were
growing up, but had never meet each other. You will find that not only
are they the only person you've met who's funnier than you are, but they
are also extremely sexy and smart, with piercing blue eyes that make
you feel naked yet alive, excited but safe. Get a room at a Bed &
Breakfast, have the best sex of your life, and sprawl across each
other's naked, entwined limbs as you split a pint of Haagen-Dazs.
Better yet, get two pints because the only thing you don't agree on yet
is which is better -- Cappuccino Commotion or Deep Chocolate Peanut
Butter. Leave the B&B (where the blushing old lady has given you a free
room, thanked you for reminding her of the potential and godliness of
true love, and closed the Inn so she could spend the night alone with
her husband of 49 years), and stop back at Starbucks for a decaf grande.
Reminisce about your day, and express your utter and complete devotion
to each other for the rest of eternity. Exchange rings that you both
have -- family heirlooms passed down for generations -- kiss passionately,
and have your picture taken by an amateur photographer who was just
passing through town, and whose picture of your kiss will win him a
Pulitzer prize and the cover of Life magazine. Order a carafe of
espresso for your friends, and hike back up the mountain with your
soulmate. You will find your friends, soaking wet from the rain and
huddled around a campfire. Pass out the espresso to your fellow
campers, and introduce your new love. The warmth of your love will fill
their hearts and dry their clothes, and they will think he/she is the
ideal person for you. After a couple hours of talking and laughing and
writing poetry and singing with your friends, both of you curl up in
your sleeping bag, wrap your arms around each other, and fall asleep
under a breathtakingly bright Milky Way.
I don't know, that's just me. I've heard the eggshell thing works also.
