[2181] in Humor
kids explain love
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Irina Margolin)
Mon Nov 3 15:30:33 1997
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Mon, 03 Nov 1997 15:28:26 EST
From: Irina Margolin <racha@MIT.EDU>
<< >Questions about love, marriage and sex were posed to kids ages 5 to 10.
>Their answers below are enlightening:
>
>
>WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED??
>
>"Eighty-four! Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you
>can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom." (Judy, 8)
>
>"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife!" (Tom, 5)
>
>
>WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE??
>
>"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets
>them interested enough to go for a second date." (Mike, 10)
>
>
>WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE??
>
>"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big
>ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding."
>(Jim, 10)
>
>"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if
>anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with
>a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." (Kally, 9)
>
>
>THE GREAT DEBATE: IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED??
>
>"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to
>clean up after them!" (Lynette, 9)
>
>"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't
>need that kind of trouble." (Kenny, 7)
>
>
>CONCERNING WHY LOVE HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR PEOPLE
>
>"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how
>you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." (Jan, 9)
>
>"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the
>rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." (Harlen, 8)
>
>
>ON WHAT FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE
>
>"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." (Roger, 9)
>
>"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to
>do it. It takes too long." (Leo, 7)
>
>ON THE ROLE OF GOOD LOOKS IN LOVE
>
>"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it
>doesn't hurt to be beautiful." (Jeanne, 8)
>
>"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome like anything
>and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." (Gary, 7)
>
>"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time."
>(Christine, 9)
>
>
>CONCERNING WHY LOVERS OFTEN HOLD HANDS
>
>"They want to make sure their rings don't fall off because they paid good
>money for them." (Dave, 8)
>
>
>CONFIDENTIAL OPINIONS ABOUT LOVE
>
>"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when 'The Simpsons' is
>on television." (Anita, 6)
>
>"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been
>trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me."
>(Bobby, 8)
>
>"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough."
>(Regina, 10)
>
>
>THE PERSONAL QUALITIES NECESSARY TO BE A GOOD LOVER
>
>"One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have
>tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." (Ava, 8)
>
>SOME SUREFIRE WAYS TO MAKE A PERSON FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU
>
>"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." (Del, 6)
>
>"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention,
>but attention ain't the same thing as love." (Alonzo, 9)
>
>"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes
>to eat. French fries usually works for me." (Bart, 9)
>
>
>HOW CAN YOU TELL IF TWO ADULTS EATING DINNER AT A
>RESTAURANT ARE IN LOVE?
>
>"Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in
>love." (John, 9)
>
>"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold.
>Other people care more about the food." (Brad, 8)
>
>"It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like
>to order those because it's just like how their hearts are...On fire."
>(Christine, 9)
>
>
>WHAT MOST PEOPLE ARE THINKING WHEN THEY SAY "I LOVE YOU"
>
>"The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers
>at least once a day." (Michelle, 9)
>
>
>HOW A PERSON LEARNS TO KISS
>
>"You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the best of
>you." (Doug, 7)
>
>"It might help to watch soap operas all day." (Carin, 9)
>
>
>WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
>
>"It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you...That's
>why I stopped doing it." (Jean, 10)
>
>HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE
>
>"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." (Tom, 7)
>
>"Don't forget your wife's name...That will mess up the love." (Roger, 8)
>
>"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out
>the trash." (Randy 8).
>
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