[2180] in Humor
HUMOR: Grate quotes
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Victor P Morales)
Mon Nov 3 10:33:50 1997
From: Victor P Morales <vicmoral@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Mon, 03 Nov 1997 10:25:48 EST
------- Forwarded Message
From: Connie Kleinjans <connie@nanospace.com>
Subject: HUMOR: Grate quotes
Many from Dan Quayle...
From: RalphX Edmonds <RalphX_H_Edmonds@ccm2.hf.intel.com>
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"SMOKING KILLS, AND IF YOU'RE KILLED, YOU'VE LOST A VERY IMPORTANT PART
OF YOUR LIFE."
- Anti-smoking spokesperson Brooke Shields
"WE ARE READY FOR AN UNFORESEEN EVENT THAT MAY OR MAY NOT OCCUR."
- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
"THE PRESIDENT HAS KEPT ALL OF THE PROMISES HE INTENDED TO KEEP."
- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live
"THE POLICE ARE NOT HERE TO CREATE DISORDER, THEY'RE HERE TO PRESERVE
DISORDER"
- Former Chicago mayor Daley during the infamous 1968 convention
"TRADITIONALLY, MOST OF AUSTRALIA'S IMPORTS COME FROM OVERSEAS"
- Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery
"IT IS WONDERFUL TO BE HERE IN THE GREAT STATE OF CHICAGO"
- Former U.S.. Vice-President Dan Quayle
"THE STREETS ARE SAFE IN PHILADELPHIA, IT'S ONLY THE PEOPLE THAT MAKE
THEM UNSAFE"
- Former Philadelphia Mayor and Police Chief Frank Rizzo
"THE INTERNET IS A GREAT WAY TO GET ON THE NET"
- Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole
"HE WAS A MAN OF GREAT STATUE"
- Boston mayor Thomas Menino on former mayor John Collins
"IT'S LIKE AN ALCATRAZ AROUND MY NECK"
- Boston mayor Menino on the shortage of city parking spaces
"I WAS RECENTLY ON A TOUR OF LATIN AMERICA, AND THE ONLY REGRET I HAVE
WAS THAT I DIDN'T STUDY LATIN HARDER IN SCHOOL SO I COULD CONVERSE WITH
THOSE PEOPLE"
- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
"I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE SOME REPORTERS PAWING THROUGH OUR PAPERS. WE ARE
THE PRESIDENT."
- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents
"WHEN MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE THROWN OUT OF WORK, UNEMPLOYMENT
RESULTS."
- Former U.S. President Calvin Coolidge
"CHINA IS A BIG COUNTRY, INHABITED BY MANY CHINESE"
- Former French President Charles De Gaulle
"THE LOSS OF LIFE WILL BE IRREPLACEABLE."
- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle on the San Francisco earthquake
"THAT LOWDOWN SCOUNDREL DESERVES TO BE KICKED TO DEATH BY A JACKASS, AND
I'M JUST THE ONE TO DO IT."
- A congressional candidate in Texas
"IT IS NECESSARY FOR ME TO ESTABLISH A WINNER IMAGE. THEREFORE, I HAVE
TO BEAT SOMEBODY."
- Richard M. Nixon
"THE GOVERNMENT IS NOT DOING ENOUGH ABOUT CLEANING UP THE ENVIRONMENT.
THIS IS A GOOD PLANET."
- Mr. New Jersey contestant when asked what he would do with a million
dollars.
"WHEN I HAVE BEEN ASKED DURING THESE LAST WEEKS WHO CAUSED THE RIOTS AND
THE KILLING IN L.A., MY ANSWER HAS BEEN DIRECT AND SIMPLE: WHO IS TO
BLAME FOR THE RIOTS? THE RIOTERS ARE TO BLAME. WHO IS TO BLAME FOR THE
KILLINGS? THE KILLERS ARE TO BLAME."
- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle on the complex social issues
behind the Los Angeles Riots
"THINGS ARE MORE LIKE THEY ARE NOW THAN THEY EVER WERE BEFORE."
- Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower
"A BILLION HERE, A BILLION THERE, SOONER OR LATER IT ADDS UP TO REAL
MONEY."
- Senator Everett Dirksen
"REPUBLICANS UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF BONDAGE BETWEEN A MOTHER AND
CHILD."
- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle on Republican family values
"IT ISN'T POLLUTION THAT'S HARMING THE ENVIRONMENT. IT'S THE IMPURITIES
IN OUR AIR AND WATER THAT ARE DOING IT."
- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
"WITHOUT CENSORSHIP, THINGS CAN GET TERRIBLY CONFUSED IN THE PUBLIC
MIND."
- General William Westmoreland
"WHAT A WASTE IT IS TO LOSE ONE'S MIND. OR NOT TO HAVE A MIND IS BEING
VERY WASTEFUL. HOW TRUE THAT IS."
- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle at a fund raising event for the
United Negro College Fund. He was attempting to quote the line "a mind
is a terrible thing to waste"
"IF YOU LET THAT SORT OF THING GO ON, YOUR BREAD AND BUTTER WILL BE CUT
RIGHT OUT FROM UNDER YOUR FEET."
- Former British foreign minister Ernest Bevin
"I LOVE CALIFORNIA. I PRACTICALLY GREW UP IN PHOENIX."
- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
"I BELIEVE THAT A BETTER WAY TO RAISE REVENUE... MUST BE FOUND,
BECAUSE... THE PRESENT SYSTEM IS LEADING US RIGHT BACK TO THE VERY
TYRANNY FOR WHICH THOSE WHO ESTABLISHED THIS LAND OF FREEDOM RISKED
THEIR LIVES, THEIR FORTUNES, AND THEIR SACRED HONOR TO FOREVER FREE
THEMSELVES."
- T. Coleman Andrews, Former I.R.S. Commissioner
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