[2039] in Humor
HUMOR: Why dogs don't do Windows
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Tue Apr 22 10:15:37 1997
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Tue, 22 Apr 1997 10:11:50 EDT
From: LMCCOOPER@aol.com
From: speacock@br-inc.com (Scott Peacock)
Date: 97-04-21 16:07:04 EDT
Subject: Why dogs don't use computers
20> Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95.
19> Fetch command not available on all platforms.
18> Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
17> Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit.
16> Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."
15> Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
14> Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing
www.pethouse.com instead of working.
13> Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.
12> Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.
11> Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies
tail-wagging.
10> Oh, but they WILL...with the introduction of the Microsoft
Opposable Thumb.
9> Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome
8> 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand...
7> Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition
software.
6> SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
5> SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the
question!
4> Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to manuever.
3> Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master's.leg.
2> Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat
rooms.
and the Number 1 Reason Dogs Don't Use Computers...
1> TrO{gO DsA[M,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,. *
___________________________
Regards,
Scott Peacock
Burlington Resources IST
Gulf Coast Division
speacock@br-inc.com
281.878.3985
