[1991] in Humor
HUMOR: Men's restroom test
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Thu Apr 3 11:29:46 1997
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 03 Apr 1997 11:13:52 EST
Date: Wed, 2 Apr 1997 22:56:09 -0800
From: Connie Kleinjans <connie@interserve.com>
From: "Gerrity, Dennis (ext: Syndet)" <dennis.gerrity@syndet.com>
From: McOsker,Chuck[SMTP:CMCOSKER@cerner.com]
Men should ace this test ... Women may have a little difficulty.
There IS a code of "Restroom Etiquette" that MUST be followed.
The following is the urinal configuration in a men's room. An X
above the number indicates, "in use."
x x
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | (Indicates that urinals 3 and 6 are
occupied.)
You are to identify correctly, based on urinal etiquette, at which
stall you are to stand. Good luck!
Easy Section
#1
x x
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | (Urinals 2 and 4 occupied.)
Your choice: ___
Correct answer: 6
It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy instinctively knows this.
#2
x
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | (Urinal 1 occupied.)
Your choice: ___
Correct answer: 6
Stall 5 is acceptable, but you run a greater risk of being next to
someone who arrives later.
Tricky Section
#3
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | (empty)
Your choice: ___
Correct answer: 1 or 6
You are tacitly saying, "I don't want anyone next to me."
#4
x x x
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | (2, 4 and 6 occupied)
Your choice: ___
Correct answer: 1
You're stuck being next to at least ONE guy, so you minimize the
impact and get a wall on your left. NEVER go between TWO guys if you can
help it. Exceptions to this are stadium restrooms where the herd
thunders in.
Subtle & Tricky, But Important to Know Section
#5
x x x
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | (2, 5 and 6 occupied)
Your choice: ___
Correct answer: 4
Believe it or not, 1 and 3 "couples" you with the guy in stall 2.
And we wouldn't want THAT now, would we? This differs from question 4 in
such a subtle way that the nuances cannot be explained. Suffice to say,
only we men would understand!
Very Tricky Indeed Section
#6
x x x x
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | (1, 2, 5 and 6 occupied)
Your choice: ___
Correct answer: NONE!
You go to the mirror and pretend to comb your hair or straighten a
tie until the urinals "open up" a bit more. If you have to go REAL, REAL
BAD, for god's sake! ... use a door'd stall.
Other parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:
NO Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep it
terse and unemotional.
This ain't no clubhouse.
I don't think I need to tell you, absolutely NO touching of anyone
other than yourself. A touch of another's elbow is of the highest
offense.
NO Singing. Period.
Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only..."Yeah, I see you
there. I will not look again".
