[1697] in Humor
HUMOR CLASSIC: Bill in Hell
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew Bennett)
Thu Nov 14 10:27:01 1996
Date: Thu, 14 Nov 1996 09:54:00 -0500
To: humor@MIT.EDU
From: abennett@MIT.EDU (Andrew Bennett)
Date: Thu, 14 Nov 1996 08:41:31 -0400
From: pug@MIT.EDU (Sharalee M. Field)
>_________________________________________________________
>Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory,being sized
>up by St. Peter.
>
>"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send
>you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a
>computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly
>Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before in your case;
>I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."
>
>Bill replied, "well, what's the difference between the two?" St. Peter said,
>"I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your
>decision."
>
>"Fine, but where should I go first?"
>
>"I'll leave that up to you."
>
>"Okay then," said Bill, "Let's try Hell first."
>
>So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear
>waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water,
>laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature
>perfect. He was very pleased.
>
>"This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is hell, I REALLY want to see
>heaven!""Fine," said St. Peter, and off they went.
>
>Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing
>harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.
>
>Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision. "Hmmm. I think
>I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter.
>
>"Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as you desire."
>
>So Bill Gates went to Hell.
>
>Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to see
>how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a
>wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured
>by demons.
>
>"How's everything going?" he asked Bill.
>
>Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "This
>is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't
>believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the
>beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water?!???"
>"That was a demo," replied St. Peter.
=======================================================================
Andrew Bennett MIT Department Ocean Engineering
MIT Room 5-424 77 Massachusetts Ave.
Cambridge, MA 02139 <Standard Disclaimers Apply> Phone: (617) 253-7950
===== Area 51 ============== Bureau 13 =============== Network 18 =====
