[1653] in Humor
HUMOR: GOD VS. GOVERNMENT
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew Bennett)
Tue Oct 22 12:08:30 1996
Date: Tue, 22 Oct 1996 11:59:18 -0400
To: humor@MIT.EDU
From: abennett@MIT.EDU (Andrew Bennett)
Date: Tue, 22 Oct 96 09:16:53 MDT
From: rmerz@redwood.dn.hac.com (Rulane Merz)
Subject: GOD VS. GOVERNMENT
----- Forwarded Message -----
In the beginning God Created heaven and the earth. Quickly he was faced
with a class action suit for failure to file an environmental impact
statement. He was granted a temporary permit for the project, but was
stymied with the Cease and Desist order for the earthly part. Appearing
at the hearing, God was asked why he began his earthly project in the first
place. He replied that he just liked to be creative.
Then God said, "Let there be light." Officials immediately demanded to
know how the light would be made. Would there be strip mining? What about
thermal pollution? God explained that the light would come from a huge
ball of fire. God was granted provisional permission to make light, assuming
that no smoke would result from the ball of fire, that he would obtain a
building permit, and (to conserve energy) would have the light out half the
time. God agreed and said he would call the light "Day" and the darkness
"Night." Officials replied that they were not interested in semantics.
God said, "Let the earth bring forth green herb and such as manyseed."
The EPA agreed so long as native seed was used. Then God said, "Let
waters bring forth creeping creatures having life; and the fowl that may
fly over the earth." Officials pointed out this would require approval from
the Department of Game coordinated with the Heavenly Wildlife Federation and
the Audubongelic Society.
Everything was OK until God said he wanted to complete the project in six
days. Officials informed him it would take at least 200 days to review
the application and the environmental impact statement. After that there
would be a public hearing. Then there would be 10-12 months before...
At this point God created Hell.
