[1474] in Humor
HUMOR: Bad Astronaut Signs
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Fri Jun 7 10:12:40 1996
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 07 Jun 1996 10:07:37 EDT
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Date: Thu, 6 Jun 1996 22:21:10 -0800
From: connie@interserve.com (Connie Kleinjans)
From: rocky@hal.com (Rochelle Grober)
from Rodney Moore <rodney_moore@ca.credence.com>
The Top 17 Signs NASA Has Hired A Bad Astronaut
17> SOMEBODY drew that mustache on the picture of Chuck Yeager.
16> Keeps asking, "So when do we get to perform the
alien autopsies?"
15> Returns from space walk with bloody gloves.
14> Constantly fighting for armrest in flight simulator.
13> Had spacesuit fitted for zero-gravity bong.
12> Flies shuttle under the Golden Gate Bridge on dare from his
Top Gun buddies.
11> Giggles uncontrollably at the mere mention of Uranus.
10> Excitedly radios in reports of life on planet surface
while still sitting on launch pad.
9> Complains that no matter what buttons he pushes, "that
damn stewardess never comes."
8> Insists on bringing the MTV flag on missions.
7> On space walk, writes name in yellow across Antarctica.
6> Responds to every question with, "Hey, I'm no rocket scientist."
5> Performs "full-moon" maneuver on end of Hubble telescope.
4> Instead of laughing in the face of danger, merely titters at it.
3> Won't. Stop. Doing. Captain. Kirk. Impers. Onation.
2> Only reply to Houston's frantic calls are "Danger,
Will Robinson, Danger!" and manic laughter.
and the Number 1 Sign NASA Has Hired A Bad Astronaut...
1> His stated mission: "Get some Martian tail."
