[1433] in Humor
HUMOR: Real driver's exam answers
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew Bennett)
Mon May 13 10:47:18 1996
Date: Mon, 13 May 1996 10:39:39 -0400
To: humor@MIT.EDU
From: abennett@MIT.EDU (Andrew Bennett)
>Date: Sun, 12 May 1996 14:24:50 -0800
>From: connie@interserve.com (Connie Kleinjans)
>From: Mike Beyries <mbeyries@netmanage.com>
>
>< forwards considering trading in their Hyundais for tanks ... >
>- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the
> California Department of Transportation's driving school (read "Saturday
> Traffic School for moving violation offenders".)
>
> Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
> A: What for? He can't see my license plate.
>
> Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the
> same time?
> A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns
> don't kill people. I do."
>
> Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
> A: Always wear a condom.
>
> Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
> A: Your car.
>
> Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
> A: Be too ____-faced to find your keys.
>
> Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
> A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
>
> Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive
> lawfully?
> A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
>
> Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
> A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.
>
> Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a
> flashing yellow traffic light?
> A: The color.
>
> Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
> A: Heavy psychedelics.
>
> Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
> A: Carry loaded weapons.
>
