[1432] in Humor
HUMOR CLASSIC: Misc. Geek Humor
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Sun May 12 16:00:36 1996
From: <abennett@MIT.EDU>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Sun, 12 May 1996 15:58:20 EDT
Date: Wed, 08 May 1996 18:18:33 +0000 (GMT)
From: Espacionaute Spiff domine! <MATOSSIAN@aries.colorado.edu>
Date: Mon, 06 May 1996 13:58:00 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Coleman, Thomas G., Capt.\\MTAX" <COLEMANTG@MT2.LAAFB.AF.MIL>
> The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
> The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
> The graduate with an Economics degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
> The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Would you like a hot apple
> pie with that?"
> -----------------------------------------------------
>
> Engineers think that equations approximate the real world.
> Scientists think that the real world approximates equations.
> Mathematicians are unable to make the connection...
> -----------------------------------------------------
>
> A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe
> watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side
> of the street.
>
> First they see two people going into the house. Time passes.
> After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house.
>
> The Physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate.".
> The Biologists conclusion: "They have reproduced".
> The Mathematician: "If now exactly 1 person enters the house then it will
> be empty again."
> ----------------------------------------------------
>
> Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible
> designers of the human body.
>
> One said, ``It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.''
>
> Another said, ``No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system
> has
> many thousands of electrical connections.''
>
> The last said, ``Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a
> toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?''
> -----------------------------------------------------
>
>
> An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are shown a pasture with
> a herd of sheep, and told to put them inside the smallest possible
> amount of fence. The engineer is first. He herds the sheep into a
> circle and then puts the fence around them, declaring, "A circle will
> use the least fence for a given area, so this is the best solution."
> The physicist is next. She creates a circular fence of
> infinite radius around the sheep, and then draws the fence tight around
> the herd, declaring, "This will give the smallest circular fence around
> the herd." The mathematician is last. After giving the problem a little
> thought, he puts a small fence around himself and then declares, "I
> define myself to be on the outside!"
> -----------------------------------------------------
>
>
> In some foreign country a priest, a lawyer and an engineer are
> about to be guillotined. The priest puts his head on the block,
> they pull the rope and nothing happens -- he declares that he's
> been saved by divine intervention -- so he's let go. The lawyer
> is put on the block, and again the rope doesn't release the
> blade, he claims he can't be executed twice for the same crime
> and he is set free too. They grab the engineer and shove his head into
> the guillotine, he looks up at the release mechanism and says, "Wait
> a minute, I see your problem......"
> ----------------------------------------------------
>
