[1415] in Humor
HUMOR (rude and crude): Misc. shorts
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Thu May 2 13:30:57 1996
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 02 May 1996 13:16:03 EDT
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Must be something to do with spring. I get a rash of such jokes every
year.
On the other hand, maybe the rash is due to hay fever... :)
-Drew
------- Forwarded Message
From: "Mark A. Herschberg" <hershey@MIT.EDU>
From: Carlton J. Sparrell <carltonj@media.mit.edu>
Date: Thu, 28 Mar 1996 11:51:32 -0500
[ fwds removed ]
A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over
the bar: FREE BEER FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! So
the guy asks the bartender what the test is.
Bartender: "Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper
tequila, the WHOLE thing at once AND, you can't make a face while
doing it. Second, there's a 'gator out back with a sore tooth...you
have to remove it with your bare hands. Third, there's a woman
up-stairs who's never had an orgasm. You gotta make things right for
her.
Man: Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won't do it. You have
to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and they get crazier
from there.
Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, "Wherez zat
teeqeelah?" He grabs the gallon of tequilla with both hands, and
downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face.
Next he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most
frightning roaring and thumping, then silence.
The man staggers back into the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches
all over his body.
"Now" he says "Where's that woman with the sore tooth?"
------- End of Forwarded Message
From: "Mark A. Herschberg" <hershey@MIT.EDU>
Date: Mon, 25 Mar 96 16:19:46 EST
From: "Paul Lunden" <paul_lunden@kenan.com>
Subject: Dolly Parton v. Princess Di
Lady Diana and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and they both go
before St. Peter to find out if they'll be admitted to heaven.
Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so St. Peter must
decide which of them gets in. St. Peter asks Dolly if there's some
particular reason why she should go to heaven, so she takes off her top
and says, "Look at these. They're the most perfect ones God ever
created, and I'm sure it will please him to be able to see them every
day for eternity."
St. Peter thanks Dolly, and asks Diana the same question. Diana drops
her skirt and panties, takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse,
shakes it up, and douches with it. St. Peter says, "OK, Diana,
you may go in. Have a nice day."
Dolly is outraged. She screams, "What was that all about? I
show you two of God's own creations, she performs a disgusting,
pornographic act, and she gets in and I don't?!!!". "Sorry,
Dolly, but a royal flush beats a pair any day."
------- End of Forwarded Message
