[1277] in Humor
This is a good one...
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Susie Kidder)
Tue Jan 23 18:01:57 1996
Date: Tue, 23 Jan 1996 14:11:00 -0800
To: humor@MIT.EDU
From: kidder@mail.sdsu.edu (Susie Kidder)
------------------------------
Date: Mon, 22 Jan 1996 17:56:00 -0500
From: "Romero, Andrew E." <romer001@CLIO.MC.DUKE.EDU>
Subject: (wish were) rare bird sightings
Here in Raleigh, NC we have the opportunity to observe some unfortunately
fairly common birds:
1. Rubber-necked twits: these are common along roadsides wherever a car is
broken down. They also congregate at accident scenes, especially where
flames are visable.
2. High browed cocks: often seen sporting extravagent plumage, frequently
found circulating at country clubs. They are fairly easy to capture, since
being pathologically vain, all that is required is a mirror and
tranquilizer gun, although the latter is not always necessary...their image
captivates them
sufficiently.
3. Red necked...err Red necks: need I say more, they are the official state
bird. They frequent state fairs, especially tractor pulls and frequently
inter-breed
4. Bleach blond bettys: Have an interesting habit of bathing their head
plumage in various colors to attract their male counterparts. They are the
perfect
mimics, and can fool all but the most experienced that they harbor any
intelligence. They are opportunists and take advantage of all offerings
from lug nut dorks.
5. Lug nut dorks: an industrious breed, often well muscled but developing
large abdominal masses later on in life after settling down to roost with
bettys. They are aggressive and are often seen competing with red necks.
6. Yankees: this breed was inadvertently released into the state with
disasterous effects. They have loud, whining voices and proliferate at a
frightening rate. Although the state has designated a large section for
their habitation, it is obvious that the forces of nature are much too
strong and a Yankee infiltration is predicted at any time into all areas of
the state. Their current home is a town called Cary, which is an acronym
for Containment Area for Relocated Yankees.
The state has taken a pro-active measure to help curb the tide of increasing
numbers of these foul..errr fowl, in the form of a concealed weapons permit,
effective 12-01-95. Time will only tell whether this measure will be
effective.
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Susie Kidder =]
kidder@mail.sdsu.edu
My parrot is psittacine of the month!!
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