[1202] in Humor
HUMOR: LOSW MONEY SLOW!
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Wed Nov 15 09:56:41 1995
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Wed, 15 Nov 1995 09:50:15 EST
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
A nice response to those nasty chain letters.
Remember folks, this is a JOKE! Don't send anything to anyone!
-Drew
------- Forwarded Message
From: Jonathan Litt <littlitt@MIT.EDU>
Date: Tue, 14 Nov 1995 20:59:05 EST
From: "Joshua W. Burton" <jburton@nwu.edu>
Dear Fellow Plaintiff:
This lawsuit has been around the world at least several times. It
has been argued by many prominent OJ attorneys. Now it has come
to you. It will bring you a change of fortune. This is true even
if you don't believe it. But you must follow these simple
instructions:
* Add your name to the bottom of the list below, and remove
the top name from the list.
* Make at least ten copies of the letter, and mail them to
ten of your friends, promising that they will earn at least
$50,000 within 60 days if they follow the simple instructions.
* Send $5 to me, or to your favorite charity, so as to establish
a quid pro quo, an essential condition of an enforceable contract
under American law.
* Then sue the first name on the list for mail fraud and breach
of contract when you fail to make any money.
Within about 14 years (allowing for typical court delays) you will
be sued for AT LEAST $500,000,000, plus punitive and compensatory
damages! In addition, you will bring joy to many fellow plaintiffs
and their attorneys. Don't pass up this unique opportunity.
Marcia C. received this letter and threw it away. Within six months
her wardrobe was being criticized on Nightline. Johnny C. sent
the letter to his friends in the Nation of Islam, and now he owns
a magnificent mansion in Brentwood. Remember, you are GUARANTEED
to receive $50,000 within 60 days. Good luck hanging on to it.
(1) locutus@borg.org (Jean-Luc Picard)
(2) president@whitehouse.gov (Hillary R. Clinton)
(3) prince@darkness.com (William P. Gates)
(4) jburton@nwu.edu (Joshua W. Burton)
