[1201] in Humor
HUMOR: misc. bits
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Tue Nov 14 14:38:42 1995
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Tue, 14 Nov 1995 14:14:01 EST
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
From: RODRIGUEZ Ismael <RODRIGUEZ_Ismael@jspi.com>
Date: 14 Nov 1995 09:26 EST
THINNING THE HERD
* In September, Mr. Robert Kevin Brown, 31, passed away after
his truck plunged into a ravine alongside I-95 in Price William
County, Va. According to Virginia State Police, Brown had
been dissatisfied that traffic, at 55 mph, was moving too slowly
for his taste and so leaned out his window to make a gesture to
another driver, which caused him to lose control of his vehicle.
[Washington Post, 9-21-95]
Copyright 1995, Universal Press Syndicate. All rights reserved.
Released for the entertainment of readers. No commercial use
may be made of the material or the name News of the Weird.
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From: Joe Salesi <Joe_Salesi.NOTES@crd.lotus.com>
Date: 13 Nov 95 14:52:38 EST
Subject: more geek humor...
YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN ON THE COMPUTER TOO LONG...
When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it
is 16 or 32 bits.
When you are counting objects, you go
"0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".
When you dream in 256 pallettes of 256 colors.
When your wife says "If you don't turn off that damn machine and
come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise
her for for omitting the "else" clause.
You try to sleep, and think
sleep(8 * 3600); /* sleep for 8 hours /
When you are reading a book and look for the scroll bar to get
to the next page.
When after fooling around all day with routers etc,
you pick up the phone and start dialling an IP number...
When not only do you check your email more often than your paper
mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your
postal one.
When you look for a icon to double-click to open your bedroom
window.
When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're
doing the math in octal.
When you look for a trash can icon for throwing garbage.
And the one I liked best:
When you get in the elevator and double-click the button for the
floor you want.
Also nice is:
To understand recursion, we must first understand recursion.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Date: Mon, 13 Nov 95 18:07:17 EST
From: glen (Glen B. Glater)
Subject: spelling chequers
I have a spelling checker,
It came with my PC
It plainly marks four my revue
Mistakes I cannot sea.
I've run this poem through it,
I'm shore your pleas too no
It's letter perfect in it's weigh,
My checker tolled me sew.
[art@midnight.com]
