[1086] in UA Senate
Re: UAS 10.2: Orientation Resolution
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Daniel Hawkins)
Mon Feb 14 18:07:54 2011
Reply-To: hwkns@MIT.EDU
In-Reply-To: <AANLkTinQO88z13rXnah=Nv5Ws8HURt+F6-x-11tGDT+t@mail.gmail.com>
Date: Mon, 14 Feb 2011 18:07:49 -0500
From: Daniel Hawkins <hwkns@MIT.EDU>
To: Karan Takhar <ua-next-senators@mit.edu>
Cc: ua-senate@mit.edu
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First of all, excellent job taking initiative and writing this bill. I do
have a few minor editing suggestions (I'm very happy with the resolution
overall, and if these don't get changed I still support it, but I don't
think they're particularly controversial):
where: Title
current phrasing: "Resolution to *Support* the 2006 UA Report on
Orientation"
proposed change: "Resolution to *Reaffirm the Conclusions and
Recommendations of* the 2006 UA Report on Orientation"
reason: It's obvious that we support our own report; what isn't obvious is
that it's still relevant.
where: Last Whereas Clause
current phrasing: "many of the conclusions and positions ... remain* true*;=
"
proposed change: "many of the conclusions and positions ... remain *true
and relevant to current discussions*;"
reason: Again, the focus on relevance, as opposed to factual correctness.
where: On Rex
current phrasing: "These interactions *play a crucial role in assisting
freshmen =0Cfind a supportive community best aligned with their social and
academic* interests."
proposed change: "These interactions *allow freshmen to find a supportive
community that is aligned with their social, cultural, and academic*interes=
ts."
reason: It's awkward, and also grammatically incorrect.
where: On RBA
current phrasing: "whether *or not RBAs housing decisions are* binding"
proposed change: "whether *housing assignments to that dormitory will
be*binding"
reason: It's much clearer this way.
where: On Student Engagement
current phrasing: "=0Cfinal housing assignments, and other *high-involveme=
nt,
high-impact events* (e.g. CityDays)."
proposed change: "final housing assignments, and other *events that involv=
e
or impact students* (e.g., CityDays)."
reason: It just sounds better, IMO.
where: Last That Clause
current phrasing: *[entire clause]*
proposed change: "*That we implore both the Dean for Undergraduate
Education and the Dean for Student Life to read and understand the 2006 UA
Report on Orientation and the above statements before setting the
Orientation schedule for Fall 2011.*"
reason: Trying to command administrators (especially with a resolution, no=
t
a bill) only makes it look like we don't know what we're doing. This
changes the tone to that of a resolution while (hopefully) saying the same
thing.
-hwkns
On Mon, Feb 14, 2011 at 2:30 PM, Karan Takhar <ua-next-senators@mit.edu>wro=
te:
> Hello Senate,
>
> Last night, we worked to write a resolution based outlining the UA's
> position on orientation in response to the current proposed changes from =
the
> UAAP. The resolution is based on the points brought up during Saturday's
> caucus. We plan to bring this up as new business at tonight's meeting.
>
> The link to the resolution is here:
> http://web.mit.edu/ua/senate/UAS42/10/orientation-report.pdf .
>
> Thanks,
>
> Karan Takhar
>
> Next House Senator
> Courses 14 and 18: Class of 2013
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First of all, excellent job taking initiative and writing this bill.=A0 I d=
o have a few minor editing suggestions (I'm very happy with the resolut=
ion overall, and if these don't get changed I still support it, but I d=
on't think they're particularly controversial):<br>
<br>where: Title<br>current phrasing: "Resolution to <b>Support</b> th=
e 2006 UA Report on Orientation"<br>proposed change: "Resolution =
to <b>Reaffirm the Conclusions and Recommendations of</b> the 2006 UA Repor=
t on Orientation"<br>
reason:=A0 It's obvious that we support our own report; what isn't =
obvious is that it's still relevant.<br><br>where: Last Whereas Clause<=
br>current phrasing: "many of the conclusions and positions ... remain=
<b> true</b>;"<br>
proposed change:=A0 "many of the conclusions and positions ... remain =
<b>true and relevant to current discussions</b>;"<br>reason:=A0 Again,=
the focus on relevance, as opposed to factual correctness.<br><br>where:=
=A0 On Rex<br>
current phrasing:=A0 "These interactions <b>play a crucial role in ass=
isting freshmen =0Cfind a supportive community best aligned with their soci=
al and academic</b> interests."<br>proposed change:=A0 "These int=
eractions <b>allow freshmen to find a supportive community that is aligned =
with their social, cultural, and academic</b> interests."<br>
reason:=A0 It's awkward, and also grammatically incorrect.<br><br>where=
:=A0 On RBA<br>current phrasing:=A0 "whether <b>or not RBAs housing de=
cisions are</b> binding"<br>proposed change:=A0 "whether <b>housi=
ng assignments to that dormitory will be</b> binding"<br>
reason:=A0 It's much clearer this way.<br><br>where:=A0 On Student Enga=
gement<br>current phrasing:=A0 "=0Cfinal housing assignments, and othe=
r <b>high-involvement, high-impact events</b> (e.g. CityDays)."<br>pro=
posed change:=A0 "final housing assignments, and other <b>events that =
involve or impact students</b> (e.g., CityDays)."<br>
reason:=A0 It just sounds better, IMO.<br><br>where:=A0 Last That Clause<br=
>current phrasing:=A0 <b>[entire clause]</b><br>proposed change:=A0 "<=
b>That we implore both the Dean for Undergraduate Education and the Dean fo=
r Student Life to read and understand the 2006 UA Report on Orientation and=
the above statements before setting the Orientation schedule for Fall 2011=
.</b>"<br>
reason:=A0 Trying to command administrators (especially with a resolution, =
not a bill) only makes it look like we don't know what we're doing.=
=A0 This changes the tone to that of a resolution while (hopefully) saying =
the same thing.<br>
<br><br>-hwkns<br><br><br><br><div class=3D"gmail_quote">On Mon, Feb 14, 20=
11 at 2:30 PM, Karan Takhar <span dir=3D"ltr"><<a href=3D"mailto:ua-next=
-senators@mit.edu">ua-next-senators@mit.edu</a>></span> wrote:<br><block=
quote class=3D"gmail_quote" style=3D"margin: 0pt 0pt 0pt 0.8ex; border-left=
: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); padding-left: 1ex;">
Hello Senate,<br>
<br>Last night, we worked to write a resolution
based outlining the UA's position on orientation in response to the=20
current proposed changes from the UAAP. The resolution is based on the=20
points brought up during Saturday's caucus. We plan to bring this up as=
new business at tonight's meeting. <br><br>The link to the resolution=
=20
is here: <a href=3D"http://web.mit.edu/ua/senate/UAS42/10/orientation-repor=
t.pdf" target=3D"_blank">http://web.mit.edu/ua/senate/UAS42/10/orientation-=
report.pdf</a> . <br>
<br>Thanks,<br><br>Karan Takhar<br><br>Next House Senator<br>Courses 14 and=
18: Class of 2013
</blockquote></div><br><div style=3D"visibility: hidden; left: -5000px; pos=
ition: absolute; z-index: 9999; padding: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-top:=
0px; overflow: hidden; word-wrap: break-word; color: black; font-size: 10p=
x; text-align: left; line-height: 130%;" id=3D"avg_ls_inline_popup">
</div>
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