[2638] in Depressing_Thoughts
Re: suicidal thoughts
jcb@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (jcb@ATHENA.MIT.EDU)
Sat Dec 14 12:36:27 1991
I think this discussion suffers from taking every opinion expressed
rigidly. This is real life (no humor intended here, sorry). When
dealing with a suicidal person, there's no formula or method that always
works when applied precisely.
Assuming the person's suicidal thoughts arose from an altered state of
mind (e.g. severe depression) rather than as a rational choice, I think
it's beneficial to try to prevent the person from taking his/her own
life. The person will almost certainly be grateful when he/she recovers
from his/her altered mindset. Some things I've found to be helpful
include:
Convince the person that he/she is rarely if ever locked into
anything. Sometimes just knowing there are alternatives to the
present situation is enough.
Convince the person that he/she is truly loved and has friends
he/she can count on. This is, of course, a commitment. Tell
him/her to call or find you if he/she is really depressed, even
if it's at 5:00am.
Convince the person that many things improve with time, and that
given enough time, they _will_ get better.
On the other hand, sometimes a person will rationally decide that being
alive is unpleasant enough that death would be preferable, and that the
prospects for things improving are slim. In these cases (and I had a
friend who was in such a situation and did take his own life), talking
the person out of suicide only puts it off for a while, and doesn't help
the person.
Unfortunately it is not always easy to tell which of the above
situations applies. Also, most of us are selfish, and will try to
prevent suicide even in the latter case to save ourselves the grief.
What it comes down to is a series of decisions without enough
information that, with luck, lead to the suicidal person ultimately
finding happiness through whichever means (life or death) works best
long-term. Remember when dealing with such a person that if you have
done your best, then by definition there is nothing more you could have
done.
