[91996] in tlhIngan-Hol
Re: [Tlhingan-hol] qungmey bommey je
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (David Trimboli)
Thu Feb 2 12:25:15 2012
Date: Thu, 02 Feb 2012 12:24:55 -0500
From: David Trimboli <david@trimboli.name>
To: tlhingan-hol@stodi.digitalkingdom.org
In-Reply-To: <BLU0-SMTP19271D8871790FD05A3D176D2730@phx.gbl>
Errors-To: tlhingan-hol-bounces@stodi.digitalkingdom.org
On 2/1/2012 7:23 AM, Gaerfindel wrote:
> Took me several hours to translate this, recasting some as I went, but I
> think I got the gist. Thanks to matlh for a particular vocabulary word!
I'll offer some thoughts, but I'm not prepared to offer my own =
translation right now.
> =91unDaq =91oH qung, lIySa=92
> be=92naloywI=92 lIySa=92
A better transliteration of Liza would be {laySa}. {ay} sounds like the =
word "aye," which is the sound of "i" in "Liza." You might pronounce it =
{lay'Sa} since a syllable with a glottal stop tends to carry the stress, =
while the final syllable in a noun without glottal stops tends to be the =
syllable with the stress.
Perhaps you're making use of poetic license, but grammatically the first =
sentence should be {'unDaq 'oH qung'e'} "the hole is in the pot."
I don't think {be'naloywI'} is a good match for "dear." It basically =
means "my wifey-poo," which is far too saccharine for this song, which =
is just saying "dear Liza, dear Liza."
Klingons would probably ignore the "dear" part of the song, and just =
name lay'Sa.
> =91unDaq oH qung, lIySa=92
> be=92nalwI=92, =91oH qung
>
> qung yItI=92 qoH=92a=92 loDnal
> HenrI=92 qoH=92a=92 loDnal
{qoH'a' loDnal} doesn't really make sense. "My great lord husband"? See =
my comments on {be'naloywI'}, above.
I'd transliterate Henry as {HenrIy}. There is no glottal stop in the name.
> qung yItI=92 qoH=92a=92 loDnal
> HenrI=92 yItI=92qu=92!
>
> chay=92 qung vItI=92, lIySa=92
> be=92naloywI=92 lIySa=92
> chay=92 qung vItI=92, lIySa=92
> benaloywI=92, chay=92?
>
> Sor nItlh yIlo=92, HenrI=92
> qoH=92a=92 loDnal HenrI=92
> Sor nItlh yIlo=92, HenrI=92
> Sor nItlh yIlo=92qu=92!
>
> =91ach Sor nItlh tIqHa=92qu=92
> be=92naloywI=92 lIySa=92
> =91ach Sor nItlh tIqHa=92qu=92
> Sor nItlh tIqHa=92qu=92!
That's a lot of twisting to get extra syllables! A more literal =
translation would be {'ach tlhoy tIn Sor nItlh}.
> yIpe=92nIS qoH=92a=92 loDnal
> HenrI=92 qoH=92a=92 loDnal
> yIpe=92nIS qoH=92a=92 loDnal
> yIpe=92nIS!
For extra syllables, consider using {vaj} at the beginning of everything =
lay'Sa sings.
> chay=92 nItlh vIpe=92, lIySa=92
> be=92naloywI=92 lIySa=92
> chay=92 nItlh vIpe=92, lIySa=92
> chay=92 Sor nItlh vIpe=92?
>
> taj yIlo=92nIS, HenrI=92
> qoH=92a=92 loDnal HenrI=92
> taj yIlo=92nIS, HenrI=92
> taj yIlo=92nISqu=92!
Using {-nIS} on an imperative verb is commanding the addressee to need =
something. "Need to cut the knife!"
Also, I think you're adding {-qu'} to things just to add syllables. Best =
to find something that means what you want, rather than to intensify =
syllables just to add length to lines.
Literally, not considering meter, the line should read {taj yIlo', =
HenrIy} "Use a knife, Henry."
> =91ach jejHa=92qu=92, lIySa=92
> be=92naloywI=92 lIySa=92
> =91ach jejHa=92qu=92, lIySa=92
> =91ach jejHa=92qu=92 taj
While {tlhoy jejHa'} means "too dull (having been made unsharp)," I kind =
of like {jejHa'qu'} to emphasize the fact that the sharpness of the =
knife has been undone. The {-qu'} emphasizes the {-Ha'}: "UNsharp."
> taj yIjejmoH HenrI=92
> qoH=92a=92 loDnal HenrI=92
> taj yIjejmoH HenrI=92
> DaH taj yIjejmoH!
>
> chay=92 taj vIjej, lIySa=92
> be=92naloywI=92 lIySa=92
> chay=92 taj vIjej, lIySa=92
> chay=92 tajvam vIjej?
vIjejmoH
> jejmeH nagh let yIlo=92
> qoH=92a=92 loDnal, HenrI=92
> jejmeH nagh let yIlo=92
> nagh let yIlo=92nIS!
If we're thinking of the original, Liza simply says, "With a stone, dear =
Henry." She doesn't say "hard sharpening stone." You're probably looking =
for extra syllables again. Without regard for meter, a literal =
translation would be {nagh yIlo'} "use a stone."
> =91ach QaDqu=92 nagh, lIySa=92
> be=92naloywI=92 lIySa=92
> =91ach QaDqu=92 nagh, lIySa=92
> QaDqu=92jejmeH nagh
I'd prefer {tlhoy QaD nagh} "the stone is too dry."
> nagh yIyIQmoH, HenrI=92
> qoH=92a=92 loDnal HenrI=92
> nagh yIyIQmoH, HenrI=92
> qoH=92a=92 yIyIQmoH!
>
> chay=92 yIQ vIqeng, lIySa=92
> be=92naloywI=92 lIySa=92
> chay=92 yIQ vIqeng, lIySa=92
> be=92naloywI=92, chay=92?
>
> =91unDaq yIqeng, HenrI=92
> qoH=92a=92 loDnal HenrI=92
> =91unDaq yIqeng, HenrI=92
> =91unDaq yIQ yIqeng!
>
> =91ach=85=92unDaq =91oH qung, lIySa=92
> be=92naloywI=92 lIySa=92
> =91unDaq =91oH qung, lIySa=92
> be=92nalwI=92, =91oH qung=85
A good effort. If you take any of my suggestions, remember that part of =
the song is repeating the same form of sentences every other verse. =
Don't switch between using adverbials here and not using them there. =
HenrIy should sing in the same form throughout, and Lay'Sa should do the =
same with her own form.
-- =
SuStel
http://www.trimboli.name/
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