[107256] in Cypherpunks
CLINTON POLLS HOLD STEADY IN WAKE OF CHINESE NUCLEAR ATTACK
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Robert Hettinga)
Thu Jan 7 15:50:13 1999
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1999 15:26:39 -0500
To: cypherpunks@cyberpass.net
From: Robert Hettinga <rah@shipwright.com>
Reply-To: Robert Hettinga <rah@shipwright.com>
--- begin forwarded text
Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1999 11:56:39 -0800
To: Somebody Else rah@shipwright.com
From: Somebody
Subject: CLINTON POLLS HOLD STEADY IN WAKE OF CHINESE NUCLEAR ATTACK
------------------------------
Date: Wed, 06 Jan 1999 17:37:56 -0500
From: "Dr. Steven J. Greenwald" <sjg6@gate.net>
Subject: [MISC-L] Clinton Ratings
CLINTON POLLS HOLD STEADY IN WAKE OF CHINESE NUCLEAR ATTACK
The Vanity Post-Gazette 11/25/99 IowaHawk
Washington, DC (AP/UPI) -- In the first comprehensive measure of public
opinion since the nuclear obliteration of Los Angeles by the People's
Liberation Army, a newly released New York Times/CNN poll revealed
relatively steady job approval ratings for President Bill
Clinton.
The President's overall job approval rating was 62%, a slight drop from
last
month's level of 64%. Pollster Stan Greenberg cautioned that the drop
might
reflect simple geographical sampling differences. "For instance," said
Greenberg, "Los Angeles is a traditional stronghold of Clinton support.
We
weren't able to poll many LA residents in this latest study because the
city
was basically, well, wiped out."
"If you factor in the millions of dead Clinton supporters," says
Greenberg,
"the approval rating is more like 66%." Clinton fared better among
women,
especially in crucial suburban swing districts. These so-called
"soccer-moms" threw their support behind the president by a margin of
69% -
28%, with 3% undecided. The approval rate rose to a stunning 91% among
insecure, wealthy, low-IQ women who drive Lexus SUVs, read "People" and
"Mirabella," and sit around drunk all day watching weepy made-for-TV
movies
on the "Lifetime" cable TV network.
The results buoyed the spirits of Clinton political advisors, who feared
some female electoral fallout after Clinton admitted last week to
keeping a
harem of teenage sex slaves chained in the White House basement.
The poll also found strong Clinton support among recipients of public
aid,
personal injury lawyers, illegal aliens, convicted sex offenders, and
the
Psychic Friends Network. Together, these demographic segments account
for
56% of U.S. population, and 94% of Democratic party registration.
Poll respondents cited the president's handling of the economy as a
principal factor in their support. Debbie Mayer, 37, of Albany, NY
noted, "I
won $3 in Pick Five last Tuesday. I credit Bill Clinton."
So does Dorothy Evans, 62, of Spearfish, SD. "I save money with the many
valuable coupons I get in my Sunday newspaper. These would be eliminated
if
Bill Clinton, God forbid, loses office."
In the lone weak spot for the president, poll respondents expressed
disappointment regarding Clinton's handling of the Chinese nuclear
attacks,
by a 51% - 39% margin. Many in Washington felt that the president made a
strategic political mistake when last week he admitted personally
selling
the nuclear weapons to the PLA during a state visit last year, in order
to
raise money for his legal defense fund.
The disapproval rose to 56% among those who had a close relative or
loved
one vaporized in the attack.
The president's political team was able to somewhat deflect his
culpability,
however. In the poll, 76% of respondents agreed with the statement, "All
politicians sell nuclear weapons to hostile nations to raise money for
their
legal defense fund." Surprisingly, Clinton received high marks (71% =
approval) from the invading Chinese army, which is expected to storm
eastward across the Rocky Mountains by Wednesday.
"While the PLA is not a traditional voting bloc, their support will be
crucial in keeping Democrats in the White House," says Greenberg, "after
the
revolution of the proletariat."
Storming across the Great Basin of Nevada, PLA Artillery Officer Ghuang
Xiapang expresses a typical opinion. "Comrade Mao has declared the
principles by which our glorious revolution will be implemented.
Comrade Clinton has endorsed our struggle, and has provided us the rope
with
which we will hang decadent capitalist society."
Added Ghuang, "Just get off the poor guy's back."
<Somebody's .sig>
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-----------------
Robert A. Hettinga <mailto: rah@philodox.com>
Philodox Financial Technology Evangelism <http://www.philodox.com/>
44 Farquhar Street, Boston, MA 02131 USA
"... however it may deserve respect for its usefulness and antiquity,
[predicting the end of the world] has not been found agreeable to
experience." -- Edward Gibbon, 'Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire'
