[8] in Humor
HUMOR: YEAR'S WORST COUNTRY SONG TITLES - PART II
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Sat Jan 15 10:17:58 1994
From: abennett@MIT.EDU
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Sat, 15 Jan 94 10:15:56 EST
------- Forwarded Message
Date: Fri, 7 Jan 1994 20:04:28 -0700
From: Espacionaute Spiff domaine! <matossian@aries.colorado.edu>
YEAR'S WORST COUNTRY SONG TITLES - PART II
By Mike Harden, Scripps Howard News Service
+ If You Don't Believe I Love You Just Ask My Wife
+ Timber, I'm Falling in Love
+ You're the First Time I Thought About Leaving
+ Love Will Beat Your Brains Out
+ You Can Tell the Man Who Boozes (By the Company He Chooses)
+ I Think I'll Drink Myself Into the Past
+ Play Me or Trade Me
+ She Can't Get My Love off the Bed
+ I Got Tears in My Eyes From Lying on My Back Crying on My Pillow Over You
+ Sleeping Single in a Double Bed
+ The Pint of No Return
+ Your Negligee Has Turned to Flannel Nightgowns
+ Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart
+ The Wife of the Party
+ It Ain't Love but It Ain't Bad
+ Would Jesus Wear A Rolex on His Television Show
+ Thank God and Greyhound She's Gone
+ I'd Rather have a Bottle in Front of Me Than a Frontal Lobotomy
+ Don't Let That Doorknob Hit You (on the Way Out)
+ You're Out Doing What I'm Here Doing Without
+ This Time I'm Gonna Beat You to the Truck
+ You Blacked My Blue Eyes Once Too Often
+ Walk Out Backwards Slowly So I'll Think You're Walking In
+ How Long Does It Take a Memory To Drown
+ I Forgot How Bad My Good Woman Could Be
+ Now I lay Me Down To Cheat
+ You Done Stomped on My Heart (and Smashed That Sucker Flat)
+ Let Me Love the Leavin' from Your Mind
+ Somebody Shoot Out the Jukebox
+ My Legs Won't Walk Away From You
+ You'd Make an Angel Want to Cheat
+ Take Me to Heaven (Before You Take Me Home)
+ What's a Fool Like Me Doing In a Love Like This
+ I've Been Roped and Throwed by Jesus in the Holy Ghost Corral
+ Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed
+ Jesus Is a Good Ole Boy
+ If You Can Live With It (I Can Live Without It)
+ She Got the Gold Mine (I Got the Shaft)
+ Somebody Must Have Loved You Right Last Night
+ Hell Stays Open All Night
+ She Gave Her Heart to Jethro and Her Body to the Whole Danged World
+ I'd Be Better Off in a Pine Box
+ I've Got You on My Conscience But At Least You're Off My Back
+ You Won't Be Back But George and Jack Will Help Me Make It Through the
Night
+ Bridge Washed Out, I Can't Swim and My Baby's on the Other Side
+ The Worst You Ever Gave Me Was the Best I Ever Had
+ If the Phone Doesn't Ring It's Me
+ I've Got a Funny Feeling (I Won't Be Feeling Funny Very Long)
+ Does My Ring Hurt Your Finger (When You Go Out at Night)
+ Lay Back Down and Love Me and Leave the Leavin' for Later On
+ How Can a Whiskey Six Years Old Whip a Man That's 32?
+ I Knew I'd Lean (But I Never Thought I'd Fall)
+ She Even Woke Me Up to Say Goodbye
+ We Used to Just Kiss on the Lips But Now It's All Over
+ You're the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
+ If You Keep Checking Up on Me (I'm Checking Out on You)
+ Don't Come Home a-Drinkin' With Lovin' On Your Mind
+ It Don't Hurt Half as Bad as Holding You Feels Good
+ I Don't Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling
+ Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth (Because I'm Kissing You Goodbye)
+ How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
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Well, not this years titles, but my favorites are...
"Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life" and
"You are the fingernail a-scratching on the blackboard of my heart".
"You left footprints on my stomach when you walked out of my heart."
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