[7] in Humor
HUMOR: Some short bits
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Sat Jan 15 10:17:44 1994
From: abennett@MIT.EDU
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Sat, 15 Jan 94 10:14:56 EST
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Date: Wed, 12 Jan 1994 21:37:16 -0700
From: Espacionaute Spiff domaine! <matossian@aries.colorado.edu>
"Unlike with Reagan and Bush, who seemed groomed for this kind of thing,
you get the feeling with Clinton that every now and then he closes the
shades to the Oval Office, locks the door and screams, 'Whoa! This is
really cool!'"
-- comedian Mike Tilford, of The Capitol Steps
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___ _ ____ _ ___
/ \__/ \__/ \__/ \__/ \ "Hey Rocky!
| _|@ @ __ | Watch me pull some intelligence
\________/ | | \________/ out of the internet!"
__/ _/ "But that trick never works."
/) (o _/ "This time for sure."
\____/ boba@gagme.wwa.com
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From: <microsoft.com!dante>
(original author and forwards eaten in the night)
Did I tell you about Philip's latest statistic from hell? The average
person _eats_ 5-7 spiders a year in their sleep. Seems the hairy
darlings try to build webs across people's teeth whilst the unsuspecting
folks are sleeping with their mouths open. I have programmed myself to
never again sleep with my mouth open. Some statistics are better not
known. But I pass them on anyway (if I can't sleep, why should you?)
------- Forwarded Message
From: Espacionaute Spiff domaine! <matossian@aries.colorado.edu>
Michael Scott, who became the first president of Apple Computer in 1977 and
semiretired in 1981 after Apple went public, graduated from the California
Institute of Technology in 1965. His class was taught freshman and sophomore
physics by the late Nobel laureate Richard Feynman, which course was the
basis of the famous /Feynman Lectures on Physics/. In pledging $1.5 million
to endow the Richard P. Feynman Professorship at Caltech, and stipulating
that the selection process for this chair include special consideration of
the teaching ability of the recipient, Scott recounted the first class meeting
in the Bridge Laboratory lecture hall:
"There were 183 of us freshmen, and a bowling ball hanging from the three-story
ceiling to just above the floor. Feynman walked in and, without a word,
grabbed the ball and backed against the wall with the ball touching his nose.
He let go, and the ball swung slowly 60 feet across the room and back -
stopping naturally just short of crushing his face. Then he took the ball
again, stepped forward, and said: "I wanted to show you that I believe in
what I'm going to teach you over the next two years."
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From: Espacionaute Spiff domaine! <matossian@aries.colorado.edu>
WSJ, 1/7/94:
*air force reclaims lost $360,000 gizmo from auction-goer*
washington - a $360,000 piece of a pentagon satellite was misplaced and then
bought at an auction by an automobile mechanic in rural north carolina.
roger spillman, who also sells auto parts and delivers fuel oil in cooleemee,
NC, said air force investigators weren't even very polite in retrieving the
part, a shoebox-sized radio amplifier intended for the milstar lilitary
communications satellite. "they were a little bit huffywhen they took it" from
the house of a ham-radio operator to whom he had lent the the part, mr.
spillman said in an interview.
...
mr. spillman said he hasn't been reimbursed yet by the air force, but added
that his lawyer was told by an air force official that if he had attempted to
use the device in his own radios, " it would have knocked out every TV for two
miles in every direction."
...
the air force didn't have an immediate comment.
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