[969] in Humor
HUMOR: The Movie to See
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Wed Jul 19 10:26:57 1995
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Wed, 19 Jul 1995 10:22:07 EDT
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Date: Tue, 18 Jul 1995 22:56:00 -0700
From: connie@interserve.com (Connie Kleinjans)
If there is only one movie that you should see this summer, then you
should probably go see Pocahontas.
There. I said it.
I don't want to give the impression that I am raving about
_Pocahontas_. I'm not. The film is rather mediocre in comparison to
its Disney predecessors. But I have never seen a film that
incorporates the plots, dialogues and characterizations of its summer
competition.
Consider the following summer lineup, and the _Pocahontas_ equivalent.
_Braveheart_: Based on a historical event, this film focuses on the
trials of a nation fighting for freedom against the travesties of the
British. Stars Mel Gibson.
_Pocahontas_: Based on a historical event, this film focuses on the
trials of a tribe fighting for freedom against the travesties of the
British. Stars Mel Gibson.
_Waterworld_: An ecologically-sensitive tale of people who discover a
New World which one of them wants to exploit.
_Pocahontas_: An ecologically-sensitive tale of people who journey to
the New World which one of them wants to exploit.
_Die Hard with a Vengeance_: A European wants all the gold in the world
and doesn't mind blowing up America to get his hands on it.
_Pocahontas_: A European wants all the gold in the world and doesn't
mind blowing up America to get his hands on it.
_French Kiss_: A romantic film in which an American female falls in
love with a European male. Focus is set upon a diamond necklace,
which is lost during the course of the film. The necklace reappears at
the climax of the film, worn by the female.
_Pocahontas_: A romantic film in which an American female falls in
love with a European male. Focus is set upon a diamond necklace,
which is lost during the course of the film. The necklace reappears at
the climax of the film, worn by the female.
_The Bridges of Madison County_: A romantic film in which a local woman
is entranced by one who has traveled the world. At the end, they separate.
_Pocahontas_: A romantic film in which a local woman is entranced by
one who has traveled the world. At the end, they separate.
_Crimson Tide_: The head of the ship has a small white dog that follows
him wherever he goes.
_Pocahontas_: The head of the ship has a small white dog that follows
him wherever he goes.
_Casper_: A widower and his daughter supernaturally relate to his dead
wife.
_Pocahontas_: A widower and his daughter supernaturally relate to his
dead wife.
_The Englishman who went up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain_: An
entire community works together to dig mounds of dirt to accomplish a task.
_Pocahontas_: An entire community works together to dig mounds of dirt to
accomplish a task.
_Congo_: About an expedition to a foreign continent in which the
explorers meet the "savage" tribe. The expedition goes awry when one
of its members becomes greedy for gold. Another of the characters
talks with his animal friends.
_Pocahontas_: About an expedition to a foreign continent in which the
settlers meet the "savage" tribe. The expedition goes awry when one of
its members becomes greedy for gold. Another of the characters talks
with her animal friends.
_The Indian in the Cupboard_: Please.
_Free Willy 2_: A young man keeps friendship with animals, and becomes
conscious of mother nature.
_Pocahontas_: A young woman keeps friendship with animals, and is
conscious of mother nature.
_A Little Princess_: A young girl relies upon Indian mysticism to cope
with the trials in her life.
_Pocahontas_: A young girl relies upon Indian mysticism to cope with
the trials in her life.
_Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie_: The latest in a series of
films that is targetted to kids, with gobs of merchandizing tie-ins,
including McDonald's.
_Pocahontas_: The latest in a series of films that is targetted to
kids, with gobs of merchandizing tie-ins, including Burger King.
--
* ========= Connie Kleinjans (connie@interserve.com) ========= *
* "Humor. It's a dirty job, but someone's got to send it." *
* ======= Humorous, thanks to InterServe, 415-328-4333 ======= *
