[915] in Humor
HUMOR: Top Ten
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Mon Jun 12 10:31:33 1995
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Mon, 12 Jun 1995 10:23:09 EDT
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
From: Espacionaute Spiff domine! <MATOSSIAN@aries.colorado.edu>
Date: Thu, 08 Jun 1995 19:05:09 -0400
From: bostic@CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: sam@hyla.chez.sgi.com (Sam Leffler)
From: toms@sgi.com (Tom Stephenson)
Top 10 Reasons IBM is buying Lotus
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10. IBM Finance could not run their Visicalc spreadsheets in OS/2 Warp.
9. IBM wants to show Microsoft that they have better Antitrust lawyers.
8. IBM thought they were buying the auto company.
7. Lotus CEO Jim Manzi mooned Lou Gerstner on the Lotus Home Page.
6. IBM's own email product, ccProfs, never caught on.
5. It was the easiest way for IBM to acquire copies of Windows 95.
4. Bill Gates double-dared Low Gerstner.
3. Lotus Warp rhymes with basketball guard Otis Thorpe.
2. IBM will rename Lotus' spreadsheet program to 1-2-3.3 billion.
1. The Notes server in Armonk is down.
