[91] in Humor
HUMOR: Drinking Priest
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (abennett@MIT.EDU)
Mon Feb 21 15:37:26 1994
From: abennett@MIT.EDU
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Mon, 21 Feb 94 15:31:54 EST
Date: Fri, 18 Feb 94 12:58:59 PST
From: Connie_Kleinjans@Novell.COM (Connie Kleinjans)
Drinking priest joke
The new priest was so nervous at his first mass that he could hardly
speak. Before his second week in the pulpit, he asked the Monsignor
how he could relax. The Monsignor said "Next week it may help if you
put some Vodka in the water pitcher. After a few sips everything
should go smoothly."
The next Sunday the new priest put the suggestion into practice and was
able to talk up a storm and did just great. Upon returning to the
rectory, however, he found a note from the Monsignor.
1. Next time, sip rather than gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples not 10.
4. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
5. WE do not refer to our saviour Jesus Christ and his apostles as
"J.C and the boys."
6. Next week there is a taffy pulling contest at St. Peters, not a
peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
7. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
8. The Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost are not referred to as "Big
Daddy, Junior, and the Spook."
9. The recomended Grace before meals is not "Rub-A-Dub, thanks for the
grub, Yo God!"
10. Last, but not least, it is the "Virgin Mary," not "Mary with the
Cherry."
