[909] in Humor
HUMOR: WEIRDNUZ.380 (News of the Weird, May 19, 1995)
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Mon Jun 5 14:37:23 1995
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Mon, 05 Jun 1995 14:27:26 EDT
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Date: Sun, 04 Jun 1995 19:49:44 +0000 (GMT)
From: Espacionaute Spiff domine! <MATOSSIAN@aries.colorado.edu>
From: bostic@CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: notw-request@nine.org (NotW List Admin)
WEIRDNUZ.380 (News of the Weird, May 19, 1995)
by Chuck Shepherd
LEAD STORY
* In February, the Prostitute Information Centre in Amsterdam began
offering a six-day course, for around $160, on how to practice the trade
in the Netherlands. Sessions include a survey of job opportunities, a
field trip to a sex bar, a role-playing class with an actor portraying a
customer, and a class on finances to explain the tax-deductibility of such
expenses as condoms, leatherwear, and beauty aids. [Globe & Mail-Deutsche
Presse Agentur, 4-14-95]
LATEST RELIGIOUS MESSAGES
* Results of a Louis Harris poll, released in January, included the
finding that about 70% of Americans believe their financial situation is
"at least somewhat" a reflection of "God's regard for them." (People with
lower incomes are more likely to believe that.) And in December, John M.
Templeton, head of a family of mutual funds, wrote in a religious magazine
that prayer is the most important part of his success in financial
forecasting. [New Haven Register-Bloomberg Business News, 1-29-95;
Minneapolis Star Tribune, 12-25-94]
* The Winston-Salem Journal reported in February on North Wilkesboro, N.
C., evangelist Steven Jones, who describes himself as one of the few in
his profession who specialize in saving people with tooth trouble. He
said he has had the God-given power since 1993 to straighten teeth, end
toothaches, and replace lead and mercury fillings with those of gold,
silver, and pearl. [Winston-Salem Journal, 2-19-95]
* Moana Pozzi, 33, once Italy's most prominent hard-core pornographic film
star, died of cancer in September and was profoundly praised by many of
the country's Roman Catholics because of her turn to religion at the end
of her life. The newsmagazine L'Espresso called her "Saint Moana" and
noted that Jesus, also, died at age 33. The Archbishop of Naples said,
"She was an example that redemption is possible." [Globe & Mail, 10-17-94]
* In February, the Union Hill Cumberland Presbyterian Church in Athens,
Ala., raised $2,500 by staging a "Coon Hunt for Christ." Said Rev.
Charles Hood, "The coon hunt is a way to spread the word of God, to talk
about Jesus Christ." [Tuscaloosa News-AP, 3-2-95]
* The Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Albany, N. Y., rejected requests that
good Catholics be allowed to eat the traditional corned beef and cabbage
for St. Patrick's Day this year, since it fell on the nonmeat day of
Friday. However, the vicar general of the adjacent Archdiocese of New
York said he would make an exception this year and not urge his
parishioners to abstain from eating meat on that day. [The Daily Freeman,
3-17-95]
* In December in Singapore, a couple brought a cow and a calf on the
elevator to their apartment, along with 40 relatives, to bless their new
home in an ancient Hindu ceremony. The cow rental fee was $480, and the
couple paid an additional $200 in cleaning costs when the cow soiled the
living room during the ceremony. [Philadelphia Inquirer, 11-30-94;
Arkansas Democrat-Gazette-AP, Nov94]
COMPELLING EXPLANATIONS
* In October, Robert Cole, 80, pleaded guilty in Belvidere, N.J., to
having sex with a teenage boy. In a previous such case, state troopers
said Cole told them that such contact was for the kid's benefit, so he
would not be "running out and getting some girl in trouble or something
like that." [Newark Star Ledger, 10-19-94]
* In March, according to police, Kyung-A Ha, 25, was beaten to death by
five members of the Emeryville, Calif., Jesus-Amen Ministries, who
allegedly acted on a report by Ha's sister, Kelly, that Ha was possessed
by demons. Kelly Ha, 21, told police after the death that there were
several telltale signals of possession: "She couldn't sleep at night.
She didn't talk much to people. And sometimes she was aggressive." [San
Francisco Chronicle, 3-17-95]
* In January, Carthage, Mo., well-regarded porcelain artist Lowell Davis
set fire to his studio, destroying many original works of his art because
he had become disillusioned with his career success, admitting that money
and fame were "tearing me up." He told the Carthage Press newspaper that
he would like to "apologize to all the people that I have cheated or
stepped on on the way up to the top." [St. Louis Post-Dispatch, 1-20-95]
* The Sunday Times newspaper in Harare, Zimbabwe, reported in February
that Israel Zinhanga, 28, was sentenced to nine months in jail in the
small town of Rusape after admitting that he had sex with a cow. Zinhanga
told the court that he "felt safe having sex with a cow in view of the
AIDS epidemic." [The Asian Age-AFP, 3-2-95]
* In April, Ellsworth Stewart, 27, was charged with shooting two New York
City utility company workers. According to his lawyer, several factors
contributed to Stewart's mental state, including weak gun control laws,
which failed to stop him from acquiring his pistol, and the fact that the
full moon that night "agitated" Stewart. [New York Daily News, 4-18-95]
WEIRD SPORTS
* In October, Song Sung Il won the gold medal in a Greco-Roman wrestling
event at the Asian Games in Hiroshima, Japan, despite competing with a
malignant tumor in his stomach the size of a pair of fists. The tumor
was removed 15 days later. Song had refused to take painkillers while
wrestling because he feared failing Asian Games drug tests. [Washington
Post, 10-21-94]
* In a small-college football playoff game in December, Arkansas-Pine
Bluff adopted a novel strategy while trailing, 46-45, with Western
Montana driving for yet another touchdown at the Pine Bluff 19-yard-line
with about 90 seconds remaining. When Western Montana started its next
play, Pine Bluff players stood still, allowing Western Montana to score
easily and kick the extra point to lead, 53-45. Pine Bluff capitalized
on the strategy by scoring a touchdown and a 2-point conversion to tie,
53-53, and then to win in overtime, 60-53. [New York Newsday-AP, 12-4-94]
Copyright 1995, Universal Press Syndicate. All rights reserved.
Released for the entertainment of readers. No commercial use
may be made of the material or of the name News of the Weird.
