[818] in Humor
HUMOR: Moses
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Wed Apr 12 11:03:49 1995
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Wed, 12 Apr 1995 11:00:06 EDT
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
From: Espacionaute Spiff domine! <MATOSSIAN@aries.colorado.edu>
Date: Mon, 10 Apr 1995 19:05:07 -0400
From: bostic@CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
...
Forwarded-By: "Jim Littlefield" <little@ragnarok.hks.com>
It seems that Moses is sitting in the Egyptian ghetto, things are going
terrible: the Pharoah won't even talk to him, the rest of the Hebrews
are mad at him for making the overseers even more irritable than usual,
etc. He's about ready to give up.
Suddenly a booming, sonorous voice speaks from above:
"YOU, MOSES, HEED ME. I HAVE GOOD NEWS, AND BAD NEWS."
Moses is staggered. The voice continues:
YOU, MOSES, WILL LEAD THE PEOPLE OF ISRAEL FROM BONDAGE. IF THE
PHAROAH REFUSES TO RELEASE YOUR BONDS I WILL SMITE EGYPT WITH A RAIN OF
FROGS.
YOU, MOSES, WILL LEAD THE PEOPLE OF ISRAEL TO THE PROMISED LAND.
IF THE PHAROAH BLOCKS YOUR WAY I WILL SMITE EGYPT WITH A PLAGUE OF
LOCUSTS.
YOU, MOSES, WILL LEAD THE PEOPLE TO FREEDOM AND SAFETY. IF THE
PHAROAH'S ARMY PURSUES YOU, I WILL PART THE WATERS OF THE RED SEA TO OPEN
YOUR PATH TO THE PROMISED LAND."
Moses is stunned. "That's, that's fantastic, I can't believe it!"
he stammers, "but what's the bad news?"
YOU, MOSES, MUST WRITE THE ENVIRONMENTAL IMPACT STATEMENT.
