[662] in Humor
HUMOR: *NEW* Microsoft Keyboard
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Wed Jan 11 21:06:02 1995
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Wed, 11 Jan 1995 21:02:43 EST
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Date: Wed, 11 Jan 95 12:24:06 PST
From: Connie_Kleinjans@Novell.COM (Connie Kleinjans)
From scott_schroeder@ins.com
From: Amreen Madhani <Amreen_Madhani@ccm.sc.intel.com>
Microsoft Corporation has just announced a new PC keyboard designed
specifically for Windows. In addition to the keys found on the
standard keyboard, Microsoft's new design adds several new keys which
will make your Windows computing even more fun! The final specs are
not yet set, so please feel free to make suggestions. The keys
proposed so far are:
1) GPF key--This key will instantly generate a General Protection
Fault when pressed. Microsoft representatives state that the purpose
of the GPF key is to save Windows users time by eliminating the need
to run an application in order to produce a General Protection Fault.
2) $$ key--When this key is pressed, money is transferred
automatically from your bank account to Microsoft without the need for
further action or third party intervention.
3) ZD key--This key was developed specifically for reviewers of
Microsoft products. When pressed it inserts random superlative
adjectives in any text which contains the words Microsoft or Windows
within the file being edited.
4) MS key--This key runs a Microsoft commercial entitled "Computing
for Mindless Drones" in a 1" x 1" window.
5) FUD key--Self explanatory.
6) Chicago key--Generates do nothing loops for months at a time.
7) IBM key--Searches your hard disk for operating systems or
applications by vendors other than Microsoft and deletes them.
