[632] in Humor
HUMOR (FINALS/STRESS): A kindly reminder
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Thu Dec 22 09:45:49 1994
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 22 Dec 1994 09:42:14 EST
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Date: Wed, 21 Dec 1994 15:49:28 EST
From: Adam Skwersky <askwersk@MIT.EDU>
Subject: Dealing with those annoying dweebs who steal your Athena workstation
I've been spending a good deal of time writing papers in this godforsaken
Athena cluster in the student center over the past few weeks. Given that I'm
an incredibly lazy procrastinator, this in itself is a remarkable feat.
"Quality performance at my convenience," that's my motto.
Far be it from me to extol the virtues of nerdliness, but when I finally get
the motivation to do actual WORK on these foolish machines, nothing, but
NOTHING, pisses me off more than returning from a short break to find that
some gibbering halfwit has stolen my workstation and given me further reason
to find something other to do than work.
So, rather than responding in a manner that would be typical with my
disposition like, say, evisceration, I have adopted a more modest, preemptive
approach to dealing with this scourge of academia.
For the past week, I've displayed the following message on my desktop in big,
happy, friendly letters whenever I wander off:
- - ---------------------------------------------------------------
I'm going to be away for about 15 minutes.
Don't touch this computer.
Your suffering will be legendary.
Should I find you sitting before this workstation on my return,
I'll find some dudes with blowtorches and pliers and we'll get
medieval on your sorry ass.
Have a nice day.
- - ---------------------------------------------------------------
I've found that even the most hardened conniving bastards shy away from my
workstation nowadays. In fact, some even take a few steps back before
walking away. All because they show concern for my well-being. My faith in
the basic goodness of human nature has been restored.
This has all been wonderful but now I'm on my way,
Brett
