[549] in Humor
50 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (clineja@MIT.EDU)
Thu Nov 17 12:54:39 1994
From: clineja@MIT.EDU
Date: Thu, 17 Nov 94 12:50:04 -0500
To: humor@MIT.EDU
------- Forwarded Message
>>|> 50 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator
>>|>
>>|>
>>|> 1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
>>|> 2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex
>>|> to other passengers.
>>|> 3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering:
>>|> "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
>>|> 4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
>>|> 5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
>>|> 6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of
>>|> the elevator.
>>|> 7. Shave.
>>|> 8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside
>>|> ask: "Got enough air in there?"
>>|> 9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear
>>|> yours upside-down.
>>|> 10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,
>>|> without getting off.
>>|> 11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the
>>|> doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
>>|> 12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol
>>|> coming!"
>>|> 13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake
>>|> and ask them to call you Admiral.
>>|> 14. One word: Flatulence!
>>|> 15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it
>>|> stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the
>>|> shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
>>|> 16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
>>|> 17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then
>>|> announce: "I've got new socks on!"
>>|> 18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back:
>>|> "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
>>|> 19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
>>|> 20. Meow occassionally.
>>|> 21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
>>|> 22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
>>|> 23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
>>|> 24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
>>|> 25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
>>|> 26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
>>|> 27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one
>>|> of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
>>|> 28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
>>|> 29. Leave a box between the doors.
>>|> 30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for
>>|> them.
>>|> 31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
>>|> 32. Start a sing-along.
>>|> 33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your
>>|> beeper?"
>>|> 34. Play the harmonica.
>>|> 35. Shadow box.
>>|> 36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
>>|> 37. Lean against the button panel.
>>|> 38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
>>|> 39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
>>|> 40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the
>>|> other passengers that this is your "personal space."
>>|> 41. Bring a chair along.
>>|> 42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see
>>|> wha in muh mouf?"
>>|> 43. Blow spit bubbles.
>>|> 44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
>>|> 45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
>>|> 46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
>>|> 47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
>>|> 48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
>>|> 49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
>>|> 50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
>
------- End of Forwarded Message
