[536] in Humor
HUMOR: More one-liners
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew A. Bennett)
Fri Nov 11 19:45:13 1994
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Fri, 11 Nov 1994 19:40:07 EST
From: "Andrew A. Bennett" <abennett@MIT.EDU>
Date: Fri, 11 Nov 1994 14:47:47 -0700 (MST)
From: Espacionaute Spiff domine! <MATOSSIAN%ARIES@VAXF.Colorado.EDU>
...
Forwarded-by: Barbara <73300.164@compuserve.com>
From: Thom Monticue [75006,3640]
Subject: Crisis management
21 Thoughts to Get You Through Almost Any Crisis
1. Indecision is the key to flexibility.
2. There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.
3. Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
4. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
5. The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
6. The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.
7. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
8. Things are more like they are today then they have ever been before.
9. Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
10. Everything should be made as simple as possible but no simpler.
11. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
12. I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
13. Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
14. If you think that there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
15. All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
16. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
17. One-seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
18. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
19. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
