[4121] in Humor
[Humor] HUMOR
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Charles E Leiserson Jr)
Tue Jul 22 00:29:53 2003
Message-Id: <200307220429.AAA04132@nerd-xing.mit.edu>
To: humor@MIT.EDU
Date: Tue, 22 Jul 2003 00:29:29 -0400
From: Charles E Leiserson Jr <locutus@MIT.EDU>
Errors-To: humor-bounces@mit.edu
BUSH: SADDAM BOUGHT GERANIUMS, NOT URANIUM
White House Defends War Decision Based on Typo
In an extraordinary retraction of key elements in his last State of
the Union Address, President George W. Bush revealed today that Iraqi
strongman Saddam Hussein did not attempt to buy uranium in Africa, as
earlier alleged, but merely geraniums. "As I was reading the speech to
the nation, I should have caught that typo," the President told
reporters today. "My bad."
While the news about the uranium/geranium goof stunned diplomatic
circles, Mr. Bush remained resolute about his decision to go to war,
arguing that buying geraniums, while not as potentially dangerous as
buying uranium, still represented a "suspicious" activity on the part
of the Iraqi madman. "The question we have to ask is, who was he
buying these geraniums for?" Mr. Bush said. "Was he buying them for
Osama bin Laden or Kim Jung-Il or some other evildoer? Luckily, we'll
never find out."
Mr. Bush said that, thanks to Operation Iraqi Freedom, "Saddam Hussein
is no longer free to terrorize the world with his evil flower-buying
sprees."
While the President may have been trying to quell international
criticism, his comments instead sparked more controversy, as French
President Jacques Chirac challenged the U.S. to find evidence of
geraniums anywhere in Iraq.
In response, Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld said that while
the U.S. had yet to turn up any concrete evidence of geraniums,
U.S. forces had uncovered several "suspicious" empty flowerpots
outside of Basra. Asked by reporters about the flowerpots, Mr. Bush
gave a thumbs-up gesture and said, "Mission accomplished."
Be seeing you,
- Ricky
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