[3509] in Humor
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Andrew Bennett)
Fri Aug 3 23:26:05 2001
Message-ID: <3B6B6B40.E3EC65AE@mit.edu>
Date: Fri, 03 Aug 2001 23:25:52 -0400
From: Andrew Bennett <abennett@MIT.EDU>
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-----Original Message-----
From: Larry Lookner [mailto:larry_lookner@xxx.com]
Sent: Thursday, August 02, 2001 4:06 PM
Subject: HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY:
1. AT LUNCH TIME, SIT IN YOUR PARKED CAR W/ SUNGLASSES ON AND POINT A
HAIR
DRYER AT PASSING CARS. SEE IF THEY SLOW DOWN.
2. PAGE YOURSELF OVER THE INTERCOM. DON'T DISGUISE YOUR VOICE.
3. EVERY TIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO DO SOMETHING, ASK IF THEY WANT FRIES
WITH
THAT.
4. PUT YOUR GARBAGE CAN ON YOUR DESK AND LABEL IT "IN"
5. PUT DECAF IN THE COFFEE MAKER FOR 3 WEEKS. ONCE EVERYONE HAS GOTTEN
OVER
THEIR CAFFEINE ADDICTIONS, SWITCH TO ESPRESSO.
6. WRITE "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS" IN THE MEMO LINE OF ALL YOUR CHECKS.
7. FINISH ALL YOUR SENTENCES WITH "IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY."
8. DONT USE ANY PUNCTUATION
9. AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE, SKIP RATHER THAN WALK.
10. ASK PEOPLE WHAT SEX THEY ARE. LAUGH HYSTERICALLY AFTER THEY ANSWER.
11. SPECIFY THAT YOUR DRIVE-THROUGH ORDER IS "TO GO".
12. SING ALONG AT THE OPERA.
13. GO TO A POETRY RECITAL AND ASK WHY THE POEMS DON'T RHYME.
14. PUT MOSQUITO NETTING AROUND YOUR WORK AREA. PLAY A TAPE OF JUNGLE
SOUNDS
ALL DAY.
15. FIVE DAYS IN ADVANCE, TELL YOUR FRIENDS YOU CAN'T ATTEND THEIR PARTY
BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT IN THE MOOD.
16. HAVE YOUR COWORKERS ADDRESS YOU BY YOUR WRESTLING NAME, ROCK HARD
KIM..
17. WHEN THE MONEY COMES OUT THE ATM, SCREAM "I WON!, "I WON! 3RD TIME
THIS
WEEK!!!!!"
18. WHEN LEAVING THE ZOO, START RUNNING TOWARDS THE PARKING LOT, YELLING
"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, THEY'RE LOOSE!!"
19. TELL YOUR CHILDREN OVER DINNER, "DUE TO THE ECONOMY, WE ARE GOING TO
HAVE
TO LET ONE OF YOU GO."
AND THE FINAL WAY TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY.......
20. SEND THIS E-MAIL TO EVERYONE IN YOUR ADDRESS BOOK, EVEN IF THEY SENT
IT
TO YOU OR ASKED YOU NOT TO SEND THEM STUFF LIKE THIS
