[3498] in Humor
HUMOR True or False Sex Test for Rednecks
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (South of Heaven)
Sun Jul 22 23:07:33 2001
Message-Id: <200107230302.XAA20233@melbourne-city-street.mit.edu>
Date: Sun, 22 Jul 2001 22:59:49 -0400
To: humor@MIT.EDU
From: South of Heaven <descentr@MIT.EDU>
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A True or False Sex Test for Rednecks
1. A menstrual cycle has three wheels.
2. Asphalt describes rectal problems.
3. Spread Eagle is an extinct bird.
4. Vagina is a medical term used to describe a Heart Attack.
5. The clitoris is a type of flower.
6. A G-string is part of a fiddle.
7. Semen is a term for sailors.
8. Anus is a Latin term for yearly.
9. Testicles are found on an Octopus.
10. A pubic hair is a wild rabbit.
11. KOTEX is a radio station in Cincinnati.
12. Masturbate is used to catch large fish.
13. Coitus is a musical instrument.
14. Fetus is a character on Gunsmoke.
15. An umbilical cord is part of a parachute.
16. A condom is a large apartment complex.
17. An orgasm is a person who accompanies a church choir.
18. A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry.
19. A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle.
20. An erection is when Japanese people vote.
21. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East.
22. Sodomy is a special land of fast growing grass.
23. Pornography is the business of making records.
24. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origin.
25. Douche is the French word for 'twelve.'
------------------------
Here is a book which, if such a thing were possible, might restore our
appetite for the fundamental realities. The predominant note will seem one
of bitterness, and bitterness there is, to the full. But there is also a
wild extravagance, a mad gaiety, a verve, a gusto, at times almost a
delirium. A continual oscillation between extremes, with bare stretches
that taste like brass and leave the full flavor of emptiness....For the
adventure which has brought the author to the spiritual endes of the earth
is the history of every artist who, in order to express himself, must
traverse the intangible gridirons of his imaginary world. The air pockets,
the alkali wastes, the crumbling monuments, the putrescent cadavers, the
crazy jig and maggot dance, all this forms a grand fresco of our epoch,
done with shattering phrases and loud, strident, hammer strokes.
- Anais Nin, Preface for H. Miller's Tropic of Cancer.
