[3497] in Humor
HUMOR Alcohol at Work
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (South of Heaven)
Sun Jul 22 23:02:36 2001
Message-Id: <200107230258.WAA20067@melbourne-city-street.mit.edu>
Date: Sun, 22 Jul 2001 22:55:35 -0400
To: humor@mit.edu
From: South of Heaven <descentr@MIT.EDU>
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>
>
> 17 REASONS WHY ALCOHOL SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK.
>
> 1. It's an incentive to show up.
> 2. It leads to more honest communications.
> 3. It reduces complaints about low pay.
> 4. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to
> hear.
> 5. It encourages car pooling.
> 6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.
> 7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
> 8. It makes fellow employees look better.
> 9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
> 10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
> 11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
> 12. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
> 13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
> 14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
> 15. Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked.
> 16. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
> 17. Sitting "Bare ass" on the copy machine will no longer be seen as
"gross."
------------------------
Here is a book which, if such a thing were possible, might restore our
appetite for the fundamental realities. The predominant note will seem one
of bitterness, and bitterness there is, to the full. But there is also a
wild extravagance, a mad gaiety, a verve, a gusto, at times almost a
delirium. A continual oscillation between extremes, with bare stretches
that taste like brass and leave the full flavor of emptiness....For the
adventure which has brought the author to the spiritual endes of the earth
is the history of every artist who, in order to express himself, must
traverse the intangible gridirons of his imaginary world. The air pockets,
the alkali wastes, the crumbling monuments, the putrescent cadavers, the
crazy jig and maggot dance, all this forms a grand fresco of our epoch,
done with shattering phrases and loud, strident, hammer strokes.
- Anais Nin, Preface for H. Miller's Tropic of Cancer.
