[3410] in Humor
engineer humor
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Me)
Fri Mar 2 13:52:54 2001
Message-Id: <4.3.2.7.2.20010302134546.0403a058@po14.mit.edu>
Date: Fri, 02 Mar 2001 13:50:43 -0500
To: humor@mit.edu
From: Me <jerrod@alum.mit.edu>
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Q: When does a person decide to become an engineer?
A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to be an undertaker.
Q: What do engineers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: How can you tell an extroverted engineer?
A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.
Q: Why did the engineers cross the road?
A: Because they looked in the file, and that's what they did last year.
Q: How do you drive an engineer completely insane?
A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him, and fold up a road map
the wrong way.
You might be an engineer if:
* Choosing between buying flowers for your wife and upgrading your RAM is
a problem.
* You take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room.
* In college, you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure.
* The salespeople at the local computer store can't answer any of your
questions.
* At an air show, you know how fast the skydivers are falling.
* For your wife's birthday you gave her a new CD-ROM drive or a Palm Pilot.
* You can quote scenes from any Monte Python movie.
* You can type 70 words per minute but you can't read your own handwriting.
* You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel.
* You sit backwards on Disney rides so you can see how they do the special
effects.
* You have saved every power cord from all your broken appliances.
* You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
* You know what http:// stands for.
* You look forward to Christmas so you can put together the kids' toys.
* You see a good design, and have to change it.
* You spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring.
* You still own a slide rule and know how to use it.
* You think that people yawning around you are sleep deprived.
* You window shop at Radio Shack.
* Your laptop computer cost more than your car.
* Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work.
* You've already calculated how much you make per second.
* You've tried to repair a $5 radio.
